Nyx Plays Fire Emblem: Bloodlines

Snake people? Sounds like snake people.



Oh, usually humans fuck shit up.



And here they are fucking shit up.



Okay. …I hope you explain what the shifted. And why it was black.



You telling me that snake people lost against humans? Do feet really give that much of an advantage in battle?



Ah, so like Ike’s games. Well they did have the best world building.



Well someone in this game is thousands of years old.




Who are? What is you?



Nothing much, just someone talking to me in the darkness.



Oh, um, hi kid. That was a really abrupt change.



What’s going on!? Are these flashbacks? Flash forwards? Visions?



I DON’T KNOW IT LOOKS FINE. WHO ARE YOU?



I… guess these are visions?



Ah yes classic dream trope- IT’S THE DOG. IT’S ADORABLE.



Main Character syndrome.



Then who’s flying the plane!?



Oh my god he’s tiny.



And annoying.



Oh it’s just Nobody, go back to sleep.

…


please get that joke.



OH NO NOT THE wait really? Livestock? Cows? Not, you know, the people? I’m not even joking when I say this is the least threatening start to a Fire Emblem game in the entirety of Fire Emblem games.



Oh. Oh no. Not the cows.



Okay sure economically having your entire livestock would be a huge problem but you know what else would be a huge economic problem? Killing all the people.



Yes sir kid.



HANDS OFF MY DOG.





Ok calm down pupper.



HOLY SHIT. THE DOG KILLED HIM.

THIS IS THE GREATEST FIRE EMBLEM GAME EVER.



You know I honestly hope the dog doesn’t turn into like a demon or god or something. I hope it’s just a literal dog. An actual, literal, killer dog.



The fuck’s a slap patch?



Holy shit I need to find a compilation of the custom animations in this game because they’re amazing. Dewey the dog wags his tail and everything. You know, before ripping the throat out of this horse.



Custom lord sprite is pretty cool I’ll give him that.



No fucking way, I’m taking this dog to the endgame. I’m ready to take down God with a terrier.



He can visit villages too.



Sounds like a specific tile I have to wait on, but I have no clue what it’s talking about. Maybe next chapter?



A little cheesy but ok.



Oooh shots fired.



Exp is not being handed out freely this game.



Nonsense, if the dog can kill a man then so can you.



Good boy.



To hide in the attic?



Oh. Yeah good luck with that, you’re in JRPG. The government isn’t so keen on helping small villages like this one. They uh, they tend to catch fire very easily.



You sure about that? He mentioned getting a promotion when you fight him, which means he’s a part of some organization. One that might, you know, not appreciate killing their members.



Oh… oh they’re going to die.

I regret taunting them for not being threatening bandits now.

Back to definitely not Bram in an earlier life/pre amnesia/similar plot twist.



She wants the Firm Wang.



He gon give the firm wang.



Don’t mess it up bro. You’re almost there.



Well this relationship is off to a very Game of Thrones style love.



I don’t think I commented on it before but damn I really like her hair.



Ominous voice needs you to stop your lying.



And that’s how our main hero died. Go home everyone. Nothing else to see here.



…You got to be fucking kidding me. The dog is the prince.



You’re not fooling me, game. I understand meaningful editing. Explains why the dog is so special.



The dog is ours!



To be fair Dewey has terrible base hp and attack stats, it’s going to be a difficult journey to bring him to the final boss.



Bram’s pretty nonchalant about hearing voices in his head while he’s awake. Even if I had reoccurring dreams I’d be pretty surprised to hear them in the middle of the day.



+1 Sass point to Bram



Is this a dream? Are we really playing as a prince who continually dreams of being a peasant?



OH SHIT BRAM’S ON TO IT. HE KNOWS.



Oh wait never mind he’s just testing the voice.



Yeah… dream seeking… that thing.



No! Dewey!



Rookie dog owner mistake. If you leave your dog alone for any amount of time, they will make you fear for their life and simultaneously get into all the food.

MEANWHILE…



CROW PERSON



These other two aren’t important. I mean they could be important later but for now they’re just useless NPCs.



*coughcheesycough*



Wonder dog go!



Hello Malcolm the crow, best character of the entire game, second only to the dog.

Also holy shit who the hell sprited this guy?



Dewey starts the battle by automatically swimming across this channel and immediately putting himself in danger. …good dog?



Malcolm is an archer that can also fly. This is a kind of class I’ve always wanted in Fire Emblem simply because I think it’d be cool. This is a decision I later regret.



There’s some shops here, but I have no money. So… thanks for nothing.




Here’s what most of the map looks like. There’s a small island town to the right but it’s not important.



Bram that’s racist.



For those who don’t know, archers deal bonus damage to flying units. This becomes important two chapters from now.



Malcolm’s battle animation isn’t as smooth as some of the others, but hey who am I to complain about completely new animations?



Based on the way he says this I thought for sure he was a new enemy trying to kill helpless civilians, so I was mighty confused when he turned out to be a recruitable mage who came to help.



Malcolm knows what’s important during battle.



Visiting villages with Dewey is the best.



Thanks Grandma.



Oh shit better go save that village.



Dewey makes his infiltration!



Dewey’s like the opposite of that dog in Pirates of the Caribbean.



…You know what fuck it.



SUDDENLY, MERMEN.



Damn I was sort of just hoping they’d completely ignore all the superdog feats that Dewey’s been pulling it off. Like yeah, of course a dog can take out an army.



Crotch biter Dewey saves the day.



I know everyone was worried but it’s all right the mayor is okay.



Our evil group has a name now.



Usually it means resurrecting a dragon god, but the way this plot seems to be shaping up, I think we’ll be seeing a snake god.



To be fair to the mayor, he didn’t have enough soldier to protect his own city. How is he going to spare soldier to protect a small rural town in the middle of nowhere?



DON’T MAKE ME SOUND LIKE A POLITICIAN, GAME.



Oh politicians.



Good job Bram you made some enemies.



MEANWHILE… A month ago…



You don’t fool me game, that’s clearly the woman from the dream. And… actually I guess that could be an older version of the guy from the dream. I don’t fucking know.

They mostly talk about nefarious things with a lot of proper nouns that’ll probably mean something later on.



Pft what



In case you didn’t catch that he’s a snake person. According to his map sprite though, he’s an assassin. An assassin snake person. I can dig it.

Yeah the dog is definitely the spirit of some important person.



The narrative spends a lot of time on Bram and Dewey and it’s incredibly adorable.



Understandably, the bandits from two chapters ago are pissed at Bram for killing one of their dudes. Surprisingly, they take it out on him instead of the village.



OH MY GOD IT’S A BEAR. Not just a bear person but a literal talking bear.



…Evil bear. Also is this like a drawing that had its colors reduced to 16 because I refuse to believe this is a traditionally made sprite from scratch.



Not really they just threw more bandits at you.



Looks like this map has Fog of War, meaning you can’t see where the enemy is unless they’re within three spaces away from your units. I’m going to be honest, I don’t miss these maps in the latest games. Like, I can get why they’d be strategically interesting, but having an enemy on horseback run out from the darkness and take out your weakest unit, that’s not fun.

Also meet Tyren and Kael. They’re friends of the mage dude from last chapter.



Wait are those…?



BEEEEEEEEES



Thankfully, the AI on them seems to prefer attacking the enemy over my units, so they’re more of a help than a hindrance.



When they’re not stealing kills that is!



Once you realize this, it makes the initial setup less scary.



…What the fuck is a Slam Patch? How do these things even work? Are you supposed to slam it on your body for the intended effect? Like, hey bro, gnarly bruise you got there, let me slam this patch on, that’ll make it feel better.



Tyron is a thief, and Kael is a fighter. Thieves in Fire Emblem like to slide around between glass cannons and completely fucking useless depending on the game. The GBA games aren’t the worst in the series, but the best you can do until they promote to an assassin is let them bait fighters and pray to RNGsus that 20% hit rate isn’t going to fuck you over.

Fighters are slow and inaccurate so I don’t use them much, but it’s chapter two so obviously I need to use everything I got.



Gar-who now?



Shit, reinforcements already? This map isn’t pulling any punches.



Oh that’s Gargursan. He’s actually not threatening at all, because once he catches up to you, the bees have taken off at least half his health.



He’s also carrying this Red Stamp, which you have to steal from him with a thief. Its purpose is to sell for a lot of money. Finally! I can buy things! Still though, if you fail to steal the stamp for whatever reason, then you’re stuck without any money still, which is pretty strict.



WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN?



Guess I better stop by the far corner with the dog.



Remember when I said it’s not fun when an enemy runs in on horseback from the shadows, killing your units? I WASN’T JOKING.



AAAAAUUUUGH

I probably attempted this chapter four or five times before I was able to complete it without any casualties.



Sending Dewey to the spot got me a… honeycomb. I don’t know what else I expected.



Oh shut up game, I’m just doing what you hinted that I should.



Guess I better defeat the boss before Dewey meets an unfortunate end by bees. Also interesting thing of note: Dewey dying forces a Game Over.



That said, Dewey was able to fend off the bees easily and earn some exp in doing so.



So magestic.



Oh. I was expecting something a little more… ominous from Bram’s mystery stalker. Not just this random dude.



Whatever you say, Nailig the Mysterious.



And confirmation that Bram is definitely not just some random dude, probably that prince he keeps seeing in his dreams, and definitely has a case of amnesia or convenient brainwashing.



Interim?



Oh. Fire Emblem games have a habit of being really exposition heavy. I don’t really recommend leaning into it personally.



Polloy is the kingdom of poor humans.



Arvym is the kingdom of less racist humans. Also Djuron is what they call Laguz beast people in this game.



Aedraad is the kingdom of the mermen.



…And sirens. (You horny fucker.)

I forgot what they said about Xiba, Doldrum, and Tarqoum, but one of them has tropical bird people. Viperae has the snake people but everyone keeps talking like it’s super mysterious, and the island might not even exist. Apparently it’s too difficult to sail a ship over to it, poke it, and confirm yes there is in fact land there.



Goa is the arctic region inhabited by talking bears. The game uses this explanation for why an arctic region is right next to a tropical region, and tbh Penguin Sorcery is perfectly fine for me.



And last but not least is Volupris, an island inhabited by not fox people. Instead it’s inhabited by crows and eagles and… wait…



Hm, an island nation inhabited by conflicting crows and eagles? Where have I heard that before…?



No wait those were hawks and ravens. Completely different.



That’s racist.

HOLY SHIT I'm back! You'll have to excuse me, I kind of got burnt off of Fire Emblem after Echoes came out. But now it's been, like, over six months? Without Fire Emblem? Shoot that shit into my veins!



You'll have to excuse the lack of images for this chapter. I replayed this chapter a lot and got super sick of chronicling what was going on. I didn't know what strategy would work until literally two moves before I won.



Here's the save states I abused along the way. I tried not to use save states this game, but either I'm getting soft with recent Fire Emblem features that make losing less painful, or this hack really turned up the difficulty.



Malcom please.



More crow person!



New characters. Sadaati is a Troubadour, a horseback healer, and her sister is a Shaman.



Bram please.



Unfortunately I never got a good screenshot of the battlefield but pretty much north of here are a ton of bird archers and other shit that can fly over from fuck wherever and snipe you to hell so.



Dark magic.



Don't blame me if you two die in the next chapter.



And that's a wrap. Crow boss and Malcom make up in Crow boss' final moments on account of both being crow race. I'm not sure how I want the eagles to be handled when we get there. On the one hand, it'd be nice if they were more nuanced than just "Aahaha we're evil and we love to kill crow people!" but on the other hand it wouldn't be inaccurate to say that's how racial tensions tend to work.



Next chapter! Hopefully this one goes smoother than the other.



Oh, is that where we were going? I completely forgot what the story has been up to this point.



Thank you for this important commentary Tyren.



S-Spud? As in potato?



No! No I am not going to go looking for hidden tiles for a fucking potato!



No! No we are not making fucking potato vodka from this fucking potato if we find it!



Who would enter the castle of Amphret must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.



What is your favorite color?

...I also legitimately forgot that we're just delivering a message.



Ok first off, Bram you horny bastard. Second off, you telling me that the little village you've been living in has zero women over the age of consent for you to oggle at?



...What do bird castles look like?



So turns out Bram is actually from the rich kingdom and had a girlfriend from the castle, making me think he knows he's other Bram and had to leave and hide his identity for some reason. Also I looked back at the earlier chapters and Masked Woman who's definitely Bram's old girlfriend is hanging out with other Bram's dad, so my current working theory is Bram's dad stole Bram's girlfriend. Which... that really sucks bro.



"My dad brainwashed her and banged her."

Again, working theory.



Playable character alert.



Their cows are being killed and they have no beautiful mothers!



Wow replace "lawless" with "shithole" and this got way too real for comfort. Current events!



Malcom is a good boy.



...What's Unaike?



Jesus woman why don't you just throw your head back and laugh about how corrupt this government is.



Telepathic snake man being unusually helpful right now.



Got a picture of the map this time. Some things to note: The monk on the far left has gold I need to steal with Tyren the thief. The priest on the bottom right side of the map drops a Mend staff when he dies, but he's behind a locked door, and as far as I can tell there's no way for the enemies to open it. Maybe a thief will spawn from those stairs and ruin my day. 



The boss is the snake assassin from before. He's going to be a pain in the ass to kill I can tell. Also do the snake people look like normal people? Like I've been imagining them as nagas where the upper half is human and the lower half is snake but I don't have any evidence that they don't have feet. And I mean, the assassin sprite has feet. So... I guess this guy has feet.



Guess I'll have to talk to this woman with Sadaati in order to recruit her. Thanks early game hints.



Oooooor she's just controllable from the beginning.



GIRL YOU'RE UP AGAINST TWO MAGES THEY'RE GOING TO BURN YOU ALIVE.



I'm ollie outie of this room, have fun three sacrificial knights.



Oh shit I forgot to buy more weapons from the battle prep screen. Um ok try not to use all 10 arrows at once Malcom.



Like everyone else in this game, Rallel is amazed a dog is fighting and killing people.



Whatever works for you bro.



Not now mind snake!



You can't see it because it's hiding behind the "Gold Stolen" message but I just threw Tyren into a group of enemies to steal the gold. I'm sure it'll be fine.



It wasn't fine.

...I'm going to have to abuse save states again, aren't I?