Let's Play Dark Rising: Order Destroyed! (LP #4.5)

Pikachu is a-okay, although I would have been surprised if the new base messed him up.



We open up with some disembodied voices. 

Boy's voice: "He looks normal... He's got a Pokemon!"

Girl's voice: "Be careful, bro."





I don't know why that of all things made me giggle like a madman. Pokeball is the best character?



"Why?"

I had to snap the screenshot like this because it auto-scrolls for some reason. But... huh.

Girl's voice: "Return it, please. It might even attack us!"

Boy's voice: "Fine. I'm gonna keep it just in case."

[Mega Charizard is returned to their Pokeball]

Girl's voice: "Yellow hair, blue jacket... hmmm."



Oh shit, is that who I think it is? 

Also, wow! They actually managed to remove picking a gender. It's ultimately limiting in hindsight but I'm impressed because this is some of the most elaborate coding DRG and her crew have managed to pull off yet.

... I'm terrified.



This guy is supposed to be the rival from Dark Rising 1 and 2. This is what I call him and personally, I'm actually ecstatic to play as him. He'll finally have his time to shine after being shoved aside for two games.

Boy's voice: "He's got a photo with someone. 'Best Friends'. I wonder what's his best friend's name?"



I know the sprite is Gary, but this is supposed to be... well, your player character from the other two games. I feel so bad for the protagonist of Dark Rising, honestly - they get stringed along to fight some overpowered devil wannabe and get killed off for their troubles.

It was so bad I had to make my own ending where they live... but unfortunately, this is the timeline where they're six feet under, so oh well.



Boy's voice: "Let's back up!"

[Noah begins to wake up]

This is gonna be fun, isn't it?



Gee, I would have never been able to guess. Thank you, game.



[Password]

I'll admit, the custom tilesets look very nice... but what the hell is going on here? 



Stepping on this spot in particular activates the exclamation mark... but you can keep bringing it up every time you step on it.

Whoops.



Oh no, a little girl is dead!

We also turn her body towards us simply by talking. It's a feature.



"Them"? Oh no, I've seen too many zombie movies to know where this is going. 



"I don't want you to get hurt!"

Green girl: "Um... okay."

Green boy: "Ready, Noibat?! Let's teach this guy a lesson!"

: "Hey, chill, alright? I don't want to battle you. I don't even know how I freakin' got here, alright? Where am I?"

Oh, Noah.

Green girl: "He spoke!"



Wait, so they thought Noah was one of "Them" even though he has normal human skin? These kids have to have been fighting for a while now to stay alive, so... what's the deal?

: ("I don't even have my Pokeballs on me. Good thing the kid put his guard down.")

Green boy: "I'm Zyro. This is Zyree. You seem alright... Come inside, but don't try anything fishy, got it? Things can get ugly for you real quick."

Look out, we got a badass over here. 





Them leaving cleared up the corpse behind us too... Did she disintegrate or something?





And to think I was going to finally compliment this game for improving the graphics! Good fuckin god, what happened? I don't care if this is on purpose, that's just ugly. (It's also a blatant recycle of the torn apart room from the original Firered...)

But hey, there's a Pokeball and a Pokedex free of charge.



... Ah. Believe it or not, they mean it when they say it's damaged. I'll show how in just a sec.



Meanwhile, the Pokemon IS A CHARIZARD.



: ("... N-Noah? What happened? Where's Monica?")



They finally figured to give us a mega of our own! They're the Y version of Charizard, too...

Good shit.



Oh yes, about the Pokedex. I don't know what happened, but if you try to use it...



It completely soft-locks the game. You can't exit out, so you're stuck here.

What the hell happened? Even Dark Rising 1 didn't have that problem. This also has to be terrifying in-universe because all Noah does is check the Pokedex and suddenly he turns into a vegetable.



"Me and my brother was hiding in this house when we saw you falling from the sky. We thought you were one of those Fairy Pokemon. Heh..."

Wait, Noah fell from the sky?



I couldn't resist.

... Fairy Pokemon, though? Oh this is bound to be good.

: ("Fairy Pokemon? But how?")

Zyree: "We was only able to find your Pokedex and one of your Pokemon... We saw other Pokeballs fall with you, but we couldn't find them..."

Son of a bitch. It would have been amazing to start off with a full team of ubers, but nooo.



Zyro: "You have no idea, do you?"

I don't quite like your tone.

: "Explain."

Zyro: "Have you been living under a Geodude for the last few hours?"



Boy, you better watch your mouth before I teach you some manners.

Anyway... Wait, it's only been a few hours since the end of Dark Rising 2? That's not right.

: ("The last thing I remember, we were battling Darugis. Arceus regained power and we were ready to defeat it... Did Darugis win?!")

... Nah.



"I think he has amnesia."

This is one of those stories now, isn't it?

Zyro: "Alright, listen up because we need to move fast. The chaos started a few hours ago. Something happened to the world. It's as if all the bad suddenly vanished. Me and Zyree were still at our home in Eden City when 'it' happened."

Oh hey, it's the two kids from the first gym town in Dark Rising 2. I think, anyway. I just remember the girl making a Spearow noise. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

: "'It' happened?"

Zyro: "Out of nowhere, everything felt different. The world became unstable. Things were appearing where they shouldn't be. Islands, cities, split in half as if time and space was being controlled by an unknown force. People who were thought to be dead began appearing and attacking people and Pokemon for no reason at all. An outbreak..."



So... Dark Rising Girl didn't want to stop at just making a reference to Snakewood... but she straight up made it happen again IN HER OWN GODDAMN SERIES.

What am I playing and how far down the rabbit hole am I?!



It gets better, by the way. These kids? Their dad is supposed to be none other than Zygarde. 

You remember the woman from Dark Rising 2 that hid herself away from the Arctic Mirage? She got so desperate for some action that she went out and screwed the Earth's protector... who is also a serpentine land dragon.


This is canon to the lore of Dark Rising itself, by the way. I wish - I wish I was making this up. 



Zyro says his father died trying to protect him and his sister. Keep in mind if their dad is Zygarde and I'm not misremembering something, that's extra insulting.

They also go on to say that the zombies are appearing everywhere, so that's actually kind of horrifying.



They go on to mention how the Fairy type was restored upon Darugis's defeat. Noah himself even notes that this makes no sense, so he's a man after my own heart.

The Fairy type works like how it does in the real games - Dragons can't do jack, so Ignell's gonna have to stick to Fire moves. It also has a working physical/special split like in Dark Rising 2, so they at least improve the gameplay with the bases they chose.

[Loud groaning is heard from outside]

Zyro: "Dammit, they found us! You, we need to get your other Pokemon back. I saw another Pokeball of yours fall not too far from here. There's no time to waste!"

: "Wait up!"



They're off, ladies and gentlemen. Unfortunately, this is the other big game breaking glitch - they don't... really stop you from leaving even if you didn't grab the Pokeball on the table.

I know, common sense, but there's seriously nothing stopping you from just going into battle with no Pokemon. Good game design is hard.



[Stage 1-1]

We might as well bring the Splatterhouse music in if we're going back into zombie territory.



To emphasize the "survival" aspect of the game, all of the items balls are replaced with entire bags. That's fine, I guess.



"-when a group of 'Them' tried to attack us. I think he's trapped inside of the house over there. If your Pokemon is low on health, try seeing if the Pokemon Center is safe."

Good idea. I like Zyree more than her prick of a brother if I'm going to be frank with you.



Ironic, considering we're taking it for ourselves.



Okay, you wanna know how this is a trap? Real Pokemon Centers have red roofs.



"... Nurse Joy jumps out!"

Ah, jeez.



It really is Snakewood all over again.

Christ. It doesn't help that the recolors are being done by the mistress of "no shading" this time around. Noah's backsprite looks.. alright, I guess. It could be a lot better, though.



Zombie Nurse Joy throws out... a Spritzee? I'm sorry if you expected to see zombified Pokemon in this game, but that'd require a lot more effort/imagination than I think the creators can stomach.

Ignell's Mega-evolved backsprite looks rad, though... although I'm surprised we're starting at level 20. It's more interesting that way, I suppose.



She goes down with one Wing Attack because she was a putz.



Good reaction. Can't imagine if the rest of the horde is stuck inside there. That'd be wacky.



Whatever. I'm hardened at this point - I'm practically the ultimate zombie survivor after what happened in both Dark Risings and Snakewood.



I do like how they spread the Potions around here to prep you up for the road ahead.



: ("Monica, where are you...?")

I hate to say it more than once, but she's dead, mate.



We also get yet another potion for our troubles. I'm starting to get worried. Every time DRG does this, something bad happens.



Oh yes, here are our moves and a random Bidoof. Roost is a good option in case we ever run out of healing items, but that's not all.



They get rid of Drought for some reason and replace it with... Tough Claws?? I'm impressed they included post Gen 3 abilities, but I think that's more of the base than anything Dark Rising Girl and her team did.

You are also unable to check your Pokemon's statuses outside of battle for some reason. You just plain can't access the "Pokemon" tab on the menu. It's asinine, but alright whatever I'm used to it at this point.



That is our fourth Potion in the span of one chapter. 



You can also find a Paralyze Heal somewhere around here - I urge you to grab it because I don't think we'll be going to a Pokemart any time soon.



: ("This must be one of 'them' up close.")

: "Hey! Zyro! I'll be in there in just a minute. Right after I get rid of this guy."



[The Gatehouse]

The second zombie we face and it's against a blue janitor man. If you let your guard down against this guy, there will be hell to pay.



His first Pokemon is a Dunsparce that goes down in two swipes but has the audacity to use Spite (PP reduction) on me. Given how we won't be seeing any real Pokemon Centers in a while, that's actually really devious.



His second Pokemon is a Stunfisk. I was messing around a bit to show off Roost...



Then I get zapped for it because I'm a dumbass. Oh, and to add insult to injury...



We're off to an amazing start.



His final Pokemon is a Klefki. Pretty clever given that he's a janitor, but... whatever.



I've never known Klefki to be an attacker (outside of me using Play Rough in Showdown), but spikes when there's only one Pokemon on our team? That's just... begging to be scorched to death.



Fun fact: Incinerate kills Klefki in one hit despite it raining. Mega Charizard Y is dangerous, man.

I like it.



It would have been better if they said "a crooked smile" instead.



(Oh come on, do I always have to get an oversaturated shot? I swear, it's every Pokemon game I play.)

"The man's blue face begins to chip off piece by piece, revealing dark skin."

O-oh.

: "What... the... This is unreal."

[The man's body vanishes in a puddle of liquid and evaporates in the air.]



Was turning into dust too mainstream?



[The man's sprite disappears]

That was... a thing.



Oh hey, there's finally some not-dead people! Let's see what they have.



"It was my son's most trusted Pokemon. I think you'll need it."



oooooh

: ("... Wait, you're not my trainer. Who are you?")

: "Noah. I'm sorry to break it to you, but your trainer's dead."

: ("What?! Well, to be honest, I saw that coming. He was the second one I've seen yet in this strange new region.")

: "Wait, huh? You're not from around here?"

: ("I'm originally from Hoenn and my real trainer is a man called Jack... but I was teleported here for a reason I can't comprehend. I just went with whoever was nearby.")

: "So you're not just lost, you're from an entirely different region? Wow."



: ("My name is Umbra. I just hope you last longer than the other one...")

For those of you who don't know/remember, Umbra was an Absol I caught in Snakewood. Given how this is pretty much Snakewood 2.0 but in Dark Rising, I couldn't help but bring him back.



The old guy says Absol wants to seek revenge for their fallen trainer, but I don't think Umbra actually cares.

He does mention that the Absol learned a new move, aka. Play Rough. I can see that being handy due to how buff Mega Absol is.



This woman tries to sell us a Pokemon on her deathbed and she outright admits that she wants to die rich. Oh well, let's humor her.



Oooh, and it's a Fairy type no less! Nice. 



: ("Oh, thank goodness! My name is Sapphire and I'm on a quest to find our princess in all of this madness. Pleased to meet you.")

I was kind of disappointed when I learned Carbink doesn't evolve into Diancie in this. It's totally something DRG would do, but alas.



This lady knows what her life goals are.



"Don't buy it!"

Too late, dude. Plus I need more firepower than ever due to how they're taking away my options.



("Rest in peace, I'll figure this out...")

This is the son they were talking about, by the way. I'm sorry, but your Absol's mine now.



: "Noah. What happened here?"

Red-cap girl: "Katherine. He's dead, just like countless others in the last few hours."

What happened to the writing as it went on? DRG was terrified of even implying V was dead in the first game and now she goes into full genocide mode.

It's like the Akame Ga Kill of Pokemon but with less gore. (Not a compliment, by the way...)

: "What's happening to the world? It can't just be like this!"

I know some zombie apocalypses spread fast, but this is ridiculous.

Katherine: "It is. The apocalypse is upon us. Tell me exactly how much you know about everything that's going on."

: "Not much. Mind filling me in?"



"But the Pokemon are suffering just as much as the humans are. The Trainer's Curse..."

Oh jeez. Basically, the Trainer's Curse activates when you fight an undead trainer and lose. You and your Pokemon get zombified and the corpse next to us was one of the victims. 

The only reason his Absol's okay is because he purposefully didn't use them... but really? You could have made zombie Pokemon sprites of your own for this and you blew it.



Katherine: "Impossible. Pokemon can no longer be caught inside Pokeballs. Can't you see? Someone or something has changed the rules of life in general."



I can accept losing permanently and having to start over from my last save, but you cannot force me to not be able to catch my own Pokemon. 

You can't do that, Dark Rising. In fact, the first real chance I get, I'm breaking your rules.



Anyway, that's the end of the chapter! Next time on Order Destroyed, we storm the undead-laden wasteland! See you then.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team setup:

A means Mega-evolved. (I will also use Ignell's normal portraits instead of using a Mega evolved one because they're pretty much the same.)

(Ignell-, level 22, , /) - "So it's up to us now, eh? Monica, Bellamine and the rest... I hope you're safe."
(Umbra, level 23, , ) - "I can already tell that this won't be easy. I hate to admit it, but I have some experience with this kind of situation..."
(Sapphire, level 24, , /) - "I see that you two have been through your fair share of adventures. Let's keep a look out."

So last time on Order Destroyed, we learned that the world's getting flooding with zombies and that the rules of nature have been turned upside down because... because... I don't know, Hoopa did a thing.

Doesn't get much better than this, folks.



We have Zyro in the room over. Let's see what the little brat has to say.



They don't say anything too terribly interesting - just a recap of how we can't catch Pokemon anymore and how we have to go through Redwood Field (cause you know, this is a "zombie apocalypse" story and they have to shove in Resident Evil references) to get another of Noah's Pokemon.

Noah mentions how Monica once worked with God to take down Darugis, but Zyro's just like:



"If there was a god, this wouldn't be happening."

Remember what Zyro says here for later because things are going to get especially confusing.

There's also this message:

("In Order Destroyed if your Pokemon faint, they can no longer be used in battle ever again. If all your Pokemon faint, the game is over. Good luck.")

This is easily the worst series to have that kind of limitation due to the kind of sadistic shit DRG pulls with enemy trainers... and even then, the "faint = dead" function is just plain incorrect. 

I'll show you what I mean later down the chapter.



There was originally another zombie here, but talking to Zyro made him leave for whatever reason.



And wouldn't you know, the tiles are fucked up here too. They try to excuse this in 3, 2, 1...



"That's what I was talking about. It's rips in space."

But. But why. I don't understand what Hoopa's doing or how this is supposed to be significant, mostly because isn't it enough to swarm the world with zombies? Let alone the Trainer's Curse?

Zyro mentions how his sister was always better at survival horror and strategy games than him. Even Noah's like "this isn't a game", but whatever.

He does bring up that there's Pokemon in this room we could grab, so that's nice.



("Therefore, finding Pokemon is the key to survival in Order Destroyed.")

Didn't... we just talk about that not even a few screens ago?

Not only are these completely unnecessary, but it's super hand-holdy even by normal Pokemon standards. 



We just... find an Electrike in one of these screwed-up looking boxes! Nice.

You can't nickname them for some odd reason I can't hope to comprehend, so that's already getting on my bad side. Oh well, let's just call him Ivan.



Huh. The Pokemon tab finally shows up for some reason. I was wondering what took it so long.



Redwood Field isn't too dangerous, but I'm just glad I got a shot in the rain that didn't get oversaturated by lightning.



I'll take these, thank you very much.



Don't think I don't know where that gentleman sprite is from, by the way. I've played Pokestar Studios too.

Context for anybody who doesn't know about that: There was a Ghostbusters spoof movie in Black and White 2 and this guy was one of the actors... hence why his sprite (and the janitor from Chapter 1) aren't green/blue human-shaped blobs.



Malamar's cool and all, but if I don't get to use them then it's a shame. Contrary Superpower is a hell of a combo to have.



Umbra busts up a Cloyster with Play Rough (here a recolored Double-Edge) and that's all I'll dare to say about that. 

The zombies don't really turn into dust or evaporate after you beat them, so... I dunno.



Chimecho is not exactly known for their fighting prowess, but damn it if they're not cute. I kind of want one.  



I will give you that one - zombie kids are pretty disturbing.



Their Slurpuff, on the other hand, suffers a gruesome death at Ignell's wings.



These are pretty generous. After this though, I might only document brand new items because there's definitely no shortage of these.



I just... can we take a moment to bask in the progression of edge? In Dark Rising 1, she was too afraid to say Hell and used Underworld instead... yet Zyro the Champ here calls Katherine a bitch and doesn't feel bad about it.

Truthfully? He kind of has a point.

Katherine is hellbent on getting the Pokeball from Zyro but Noah intervenes and says that it's his. She's like "even if it's yours, I still want it" which all sorts of .



She decides to go into full dumbass mode and wants to fight Noah for the Pokemon while being fully aware that one of them will die if they go all out. She even says "I don't know about you and I don't care about you!"

Say it with me now:





You will not be missed.



Her first Pokemon up is a Sawk that comes with Dual Chop and Knock Off... not much else, to be honest. They're surprisingly not that threatening.

Sure, Sapphire lost a Hard Stone but I don't think that's much of a problem.



... Don't you mean Dazzling Gleam? Whatever. Sapphire killing a man by flashing him is too hilarious to pass up.



She has a Mega Sceptile that looks.. [vinesauce joel voice] amazing.

You'd think that with them being another Mega this would be the hardest Pokemon to deal with, right?



One Wing Attack and they're dead. That's kind of... sad. 

However, Ignell does have a type advantage and is pretty buff thanks to Tough Claws.



Her Sylveon, though.

They have access to Moonblast and Shadow Ball and they hurt. You better have a good answer to this thing or you're going down quick.



Here's Moonblast in action and I'll admit it looks great... but it becomes a lot less impressive when you realize that both the Sylveon sprite and the move are because of the base that DRG used - not anything she did herself.



Sapphire raises up the Light Screen to ease the damage a bit, but I had to swap quick because she got a Special Defense drop from Shadow Ball.



Oh and to top it off, she has Calm Mind. I find it funny how the Mega was one-shotted but it takes all of our effort to take down the cute little Sylveon.

Fairies are scary. 





Ignell finally puts her down with a Wing Attack and ends Katherine.



Oh boy, there's another person we have to kill. How exquisite. 



Katherine: "You... you defended yourself. This isn't our world anymore. This world is ruined by "them"."

I'm glad she doesn't try to guilt trip us by being like "oh you killed me noah, you're a piece of shit". She's going out with some dignity, I guess.



... And her method of death is being swallowed by a random black hole.



I already forgot she existed.



But yeah I already collected the Pokeball. It didn't give me any fanfare or really asked me anything, we just... get them. 

Must have gotten lazy with the programming.



But hey, he's another Lucario. He'll make an appropriate replacement for Sigurd, I guess. (Okay, I lied.)

He shall be called Rodrigo because I can't think of anything particularly interesting.



Zyro tells Noah he did the only thing he could do and that he shouldn't get hung up over it. Noah goes on to say that it's only appropriate considering how messed up the world is now.

Zyro bemoans that he's not strong enough and that he can't always have Noah to protect him, which is like... you do realize him and his sister are slated to be the protagonists of 3, right?

Whatever suspense happens here is pretty moot if you know they'll make it to the third game.



Right on cue. Zyro decides to run ahead while I stay and sit here wondering why I didn't pull out the "Zygarde gyro sandwich" joke when I first saw him.

... How the hell did Zygarde have relations with a human woman? Isn't he made up of multiple tinier cores?

Oh god I forgot one of Zygarde's forms is a dog.



She finally gets out of the way of the cave and... there's some dude.

I hate to admit it, but the lack of a Pokemon Center does keep me on edge. The survival aspect of this is surprisingly well made... but just wait until she messes it up.



"You seen a girl out there with blue hair, red jacket? Her name's Katherine."

Zyro: "Actually, yeah. We -"

Are you trying to get us in trouble, you little boy scout?

Noah comes in with the save and lies to Vincent (because it's obviously him) that we didn't see her. The only real interesting tidbit he gives is that there's high level Drifblims and Steelix around the area (level 40).

Given what I've heard of this game, level 40 is around the highest we'll be getting... I told you it was short.



Vincent gives Noah a serious glare before leaving so you know what we're doing at the end of this.



Noah contemplates that fighting more trainers would be a bad idea with a limited inventory and I normally I would agree with him...

Then again, I'm willing to be one reckless son of a bitch.



Zyro tried to use "Let's get it started" as his catchphrase, but at this point there might as well be a laugh track every time they use a catchphrase.



Ooh, nice. The Level 40 Steelix and Drifblim aren't good enough reasons for me not to use this.



... Huh. If this were a normal Pokemon game, I might have gotten this Shuckle. Too bad, huh?



Escape Ropes are always nice, especially with the kind of backtracking these games usually make me do.



We get it, zombies everywhere. Speaking of which...



I mean... your chance of survival in this world is now relegated to whether you're good as a trainer or not.



Yikes. No wonder this guy sucked and died.



these sprites never cease to amaze me

In all seriousness, Rodrigo (ignore that his name isn't changed in-game) is a beast. He's easily the second most powerful member of the team next to Ignell thanks to Adaptability and well... being another Mega.

Everything in Rodrigo's arsenal is priority, although I can't wait to get rid of Quick Attack and put something better in its place.



Your reward for beating him up is another Repel. Nice.



I know Noah said that we shouldn't fight and keep our supplies high, but I have to add more zombies to the body count. It's only fair.



... Litleo has seen some shit.



Oh hey, an item that nobody will ever use... that's probably how it got down here to begin with.

I'd giggle like a madman if there was an in depth, tragic backstory for how this Awakening got down here, just sayin'.



There were wild Klefki around here, but I think I would have lost my goddamn mind if I encountered a shiny one... especially since this is the game where you're "forbidden" from catching Pokemon on your own.



Ice Heal will be fun the next time a Pokemon of mine gets frozen... it's practically an inevitability at this point.



Hello, my old friend.


I've missed you. I'll definitely be needing your help by the time this is over.



He says this for the one fight I couldn't skip. Oh well, more experience for us!~



Ivan is... well, tough to train. His low level and his fragility as an unevolved mon makes him one of the most difficult to train in this new messed up survival world.

The lack of supplies makes him especially vulnerable, so I'm hoping we'll be able to get to a PC or an impromptu mart soon or something.



Even with a type advantage he can't murder this Wartortle outright, so...



Ignell picks up the slack.





This guy was the worst item guard ever. Ignoring his Pokemon choice (he has a Pyroar that's no match for Rodrigo), his vision is strictly one tile in front of him. 

I think this is the most docile enemy trainer I've ever seen, zombie or not.



Huh. What's all this about?



: "No, they found me in Vendell Town and saved me. I'm just looking out for them."

This random blue dude saved Zyree from a zombie trainer and wants to give his Froakie to us? Wow, that's pretty nice of him.

Actually, the reason is because he doesn't want Froakie to suffer because of him. Aww. He also mentions that by having no Pokemon, he can't... suffer the Trainer's Curse...

Wait, what.



Blue dude: "Undead trainers only go after people with Pokemon. If you all were to release your Pokemon right now, they won't attack you."



Holy shit, this is stupid. So... the zombies don't attack anybody that don't have Pokemon. What's stopping people from putting their Pokemon away in boxes and using tools to beat the zombies back instead?

This new information just plain makes no sense.

Noah and the Zygarde twins are like "pokemon are our friends, we can never abandon them"  - but honestly, if I were presented this information I'd leave all of my Pokemon in the PC and pick up a bazooka instead.



We get another Pokemon with no fanfare and no choice to nickname, so... whatever.



Julian here will be one of my favorites when we get to level him up, but really? Level 14? Ignell was higher leveled and he was our starter for this.



Hot damn.

Ivan went from being our least impressive member to being an MVP. See, that zombie cop there had a Blastoise of all things and they were ready to tear the team apart.

I send in Ivan to see if I can at least slow down my demise, but he gets a crit and dunks the fucker in one hit. 

Oh you're gonna be an amazing Manectric when you grow up.



We get a Super Potion(!) and another Rare Candy for our troubles. This is absolutely vital if we plan on making it to the end, I swear.



Vincent: "Yeah, it's me again. You think I'm stupid, blondie?!"

Yes.

Vincent: "I know what you did!"

: "...I had no choice..."

In-game Noah is genuinely sorry while LP!Noah has a big doofy smirk on his face.

Vincent: "I don't care about your damn choices. I'll take YOUR Pokemon now and avenge Katherine!!"

Wow, he sure lasted long.



Vincent, much like Ka - Holy shit these guys are named after the main characters of Atlus's Catherine.

I just now got the reference and all I can say is "wow, you're serious". I don't even understand why they're here. 



He's nowhere near as troublesome as Katherine, though. Ignell wipes out his Throh in a snap.



Ivan's moveset is pretty lacking, but Thunder Fang is still enough to one-shot this Mantine. Good for him.



His final Pokemon is an oh my god. Ignell is like the only appealing-looking Mega in this game, I swear.

Anyway...



Anchor Arms Swampert here has Seismic Toss and would normally be fish food when stacked against a proper Mega Charizard Y (you know, the ones with Drought and Solarbeam).

However, since we don't have either of those, he could actually be an issue.



I stand corrected.



"You and your Pokemon are nothing but damn murderers!!"

: ("Normally I'd apologize, but you and your friend brought all of this down on yourselves.")



"We were headed for the Machine."

... The Machine?



Man, that's an obscure reference even for me.

But yeah, the Machine Vincent's talking about is the only PC left in the world(?). The game itself even probes us about asking him for it:



("Try talking to Vincent to make him give you information about where the machine would be.")

Listen, if I've made it this far into the series then I'm already aware of how I have to keep pressing A to activate events. Now let go of my hand already.



He also drops an Earthquake TM for us. Thank you kindly.



Noah asks him where the machine is, but Vincent's like "screw you" and says his dying words will instead be: "I LOVE YOU KATHERINE!!"

Because... you know, he had the character depth of a tissue paper.



: "I don't really feel bad about that. Weird. Oh well."



We make it to the Auburn Forest and... wow those are some funky trees.



"You must be the other traveler with these two adorable kids."

Zyro: "Yo, Noah! She said she'd take us in!"

Zyree: "We can finally have a place to relax!"

Sounds too good to be true. What's the catch?

: "Who are you?"

: "Sweetheart, you can just call me Granny because I will treat you as my own family. I will take very good care of you."

Wow, she's not even trying I mean, ooh a character that doesn't want to kill us!



Noah asks her if she lives around here, but she states she lives in the town ahead. Zyro and Zyree get all excited and "Granny" says that they're free to eat the berries around here.



Okay, cool. Man, I can't imagine this going badly.



I just realized where we are. This is a fake Lostlorn Forest... three games in and she's still not above slightly changing vanilla maps.



Bug Catcher Zed here has two Parasect to fend us off with, but Ignell makes a barbecue out of them.



I guess it's clever considering Parasect is canonically a "zombie mushroom" Pokemon.



That sprite though is just... eugh. It's like the revenge of Microsoft Paint.



... Well, shit. We're hosed, guys.

You'd think this would finally be karma catching up to me after being so reckless, but you know what?



: [Sharp gasp] ("What happened?!") 



Rare Candies can bring Pokemon back from fainting because of how leveling up increases your HP. They're effectively Revives that also level you up and given how we already have two... yeah, the "permadeath" angle kind of lost its edge.



Ignell even repairs the rest of his health with Roost, meaning that he may as well have not fainted. I love loopholes.



I can already tell this is going to be great... and a recycled event.



: "My, my. Now how did this Snorlax get here?"

Granny, please.

Zyree: "I can't hold it off for much longer!"



: "We gotta do this fast!"

So our opponent is an actual zombie Snorlax, huh? I wonder how it looks?



You know, as cheesy as Snakewood was, Gorelax was still pretty horrifying. This is just... a blue Snorlax.



Christ, that was close.

I'm so glad I switched Rodrigo out for Ignell for that one. The move he used was Fissure of all things. How was Zomblax able to do this?

He knows Metronome. Granted, not the best move for a Snorlax, but it still scared the bejesus out of me when I saw it go for a OHKO move.



His second attempt at Metronome was infinitely less successful.







Ooh. Thanks, Zyro.

[Noah faints from exhaustion]

But... Ignell was the one who was fighting and he barely took 2 points of damage.

Oh right, it's plot-related fainting.

: "Come along with Granny, children. This way..."

Oh jeez.



"Wait! Where's Zyro and Zyree?! I've gotta find them... What's that paper on the wall?"

Oh boy, it's an obvious horror trope in the making.



"That was Zyro! It came from outside!"

Riveting, but I think that's enough fun for one day.



Next time on Order Destroyed, we'll have to save the Zygarde twins from imminent danger and get out of this super obvious trap. See you then.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team setup:

A means Mega-evolved. 

(Ignell-, level 30, , /) - "Perhaps I should have acted more on my gut feeling..."
(Umbra, level 24, , ) - "I could tell the instant I saw that hag that she was up to no good."
(Sapphire, level 24, , /) - "Will the kids be alright?"
(Ivan, level 24, , ) - "Whoa... I saw what it's like on the other side. Noah's like a miracle man if he was able to bring me back."
(Rodrigo-, level 27, , /) - "I don't feel so good about just charging into enemy territory... But let's go, I guess."
(Julian, level 14, , ) - "I think we better start worrying about ourselves before anything else, Sapphire."

Last time on Order Destroyed, Noah and the Zygarde twins were captured by some "unknown" enemy. Let's see what we have to deal with.



"My name's on this list... So is Zyro and Zyree. What's going on? Our names are not crossed out though."

I'm not even going to pretend this is going to lead up to a shocking twist.



[Tawfret]

Let's see... spooky, mist-covered town that's in ruins after some horrible event. I'd normally find this way more interesting if this weren't Dark Rising. (That, and if the mist covered every tile and not just some of them.)



Most of the houses here are locked and DRG actually had the foresight to put up invisible blockades, so that's cool I guess.



Here's a Super Potion just in case you were really hurting for some HP restoratives.



Alright kids, what's the damage?



"We need to get out of here, right now! She wants to kill us!"

If you didn't see this coming then I don't know what to say. Zyro says the same thing, more or less.



"You're full of surprises. That makes me crave you more."

... Excuse me

Zyro: "Noah, she wants to eat us! No joke!"

Ah, never mind. I thought it would have been something much worse. Zyree mentions that even the zombie Snorlax was part of the plan and that Granny here has been craving for better food than berries.



Noah, of course it's fucking true. She's just some random old woman in the middle of the woods in a zombie apocalypse - of course she's going to be evil.

She goes onto say that she likes to name every dish she makes. While I'll admit this is the most blatantly telegraphed psychopath I've ever seen, cannibalism in a Pokemon game is still pretty



She mentions she and her Pokemon have eaten twenty nine people. I'm not flipping out because of the act itself (even if it is disgusting) but because of the fact Hoopa started the zombie apocalypse a few hours ago according to Zyro.

How in the hell did she manage to pull that off? If anything, this town must have had problems way before Hoopa ever did anything.

... It just raises too many questins and my brain hurts, so let's just beat her up already.



[Splatterhouse 3: Cannibal Boss]

What a time to bring this song out, too. I hate to admit it, but I definitely have to bring out the:

RUDE CRUDE DUDES ALERT

Grandma Stuffum here has a dangerous team and due to how this game effectively discourages against grinding (due to a lack of resources), this might be enough to seriously screw you over no matter what you try.



Her first mon up is a Diggersby that might tear apart whatever you throw out first thanks to their high level. Thankfully they don't have Huge Power like they would in the real games... so that's a mercy.

I guess she's saving the real pain for later.



Her next Pokemon is this Aromatisse that's guaranteed to waste a turn setting Wish up. Rodrigo, you know what to do.



Thank god too because if she actually got to attack, he would have been killed by Dazzle.



Fuck, here we go.

This is the real killer of this team. See, not only do you have the stupid defenses of Mega Sableye, you also have a working Magic Bounce due to the (much better) base this was built on.

They hit hard, are tough to even scratch and there's the level curve that somehow found a way to skyrocket even in a smaller game.

But hey, at least the sprite looks fantastic.



Sapphire sets up Dual Screens because I really don't want to die against to this thing.



There's Dark Pulse for you and look at how much Dazzle does in comparison. Keep in mind, Fairy type moves are supposed to be super effective.

Yeah, we're switching her out immediately.



Ignell takes a serious hit but he heals it off just long enough to get a good hit and...

[Ignell used Wing Attack!]





Bam. Where would this team be without you, my salamander champion?



"Feed me moooore!"

Is she the grandmother of that weird fat guy back in Dark Rising 1 that was like "FEED ME MORE!" for no reason? Whatever, I hope you like worms to go with your dirt nap.



Granny's like "nooo i don't want to die hungry" while Noah's tempted to shove a boot down her throat. However, she does say something interesting - she knows the location of The Machine!

It's in a mansion to the north, so that's where we're going, friends.



So every time Noah wins a fight, people get sucked into black holes. They don't just fall over dead, they have to get consumed by the void.

This is a weird game.



Zyro and Zyree thank us for beating up the psycho hag but Noah muses about going to The Machine because that's totally not a trap either, am I right?



Oh hey, DRG even stole the severed heads thing from Snakewood.



Ah, never mind. He was the guy who saved Zyro and Zyree earlier (the one that gave us Julian) but Granny turned him into soup barring his head.

That's kinda fucked up, but at this point I have zero attachment to any of these characters except for Noah and my Pokemon. Mess with them and that's when I have to put my foot down.



Yeah, this place has been a problem way before anything in Dark Rising happened. It's even quarantined and shit.



The Dreaded Hills, huh? I'm still curious - who names these places? What is so dreaded about it?



oh no



(Damn you for not letting me be able to catch Espurr.)



This curse is so confusing to me. So apparently when zombies go after people, they get infected... but when people fight people, they get sucked into black holes?

I dunno, man.



But hey, at least there's more Ethers!



Yanmega's one of the most dangerous wilds in this area that aren't the Level 40 Drifblims or Steelix. The most logical thing to do would be to run away because of your limited stock.



My sentiments exactly, Noah. But I knew the risks going in.



... That's easily one of the strangest color palletes I've ever seen on a zombie. I wonder what's our punishment for running into this g--



Oh shit.


So... Slowbro is easily the most dangerous Pokemon you could encounter yet due to the anti-grinding measures in place and the middling detail that your primary Pokemon will be Charizard. They may be "mega evolved" but a good water attack is still enough to throw them in the grave.

So you know, don't get caught.



This guy recognizes Noah, but he lets him have the item without a fight... until he notices that it's an experience share.

Noah immediately goes into "hey listen i'm taking care of some kids" but the guy doesn't buy it - "You're using that excuse again?"



Turns out this guy has been tailing Noah and the Zygarde Twins to get rid of them and that his name is... get this, Sludge.

With a name like that, he's bound to have Psychic types.



... I don't... understand the exclamation mark. At this point Noah should be used to people trying to kill him.



Sludge, despite his hulking physique, is one of the easiest trainers in the game yet.



Mostly because he's throwing Pokemon that are super weak to Ignell being part flying and the fact he doesn't have any real tricks up his sleeve.



Hell yeah, we finally get something to replace Wing Attack. Ignell's more of a mage than a brawler, so this is perfect. (I don't care that his ability is Tough Claws.)



Scolipede looks weird - it has a pot belly for some reason. It's not even that Scolipede is hard to fit in the Gen 3 games, so I don't understand this.



Ignell cuts her down with Air Slash and that ends Sludge. Arguably the biggest missed opportunity this game had was to give him Muk, cause you know...



Unlike most of the other trainers we've faced so far, Noah is unable to kill him... But he still lets us have the Experience Share anyway. He was a nice guy after all.



He mostly repeats what he says in the battle and disappears so we can grab the Experience Share. But... huh. So Hoopa picks and chooses who lives or dies in this?

Yeah, I'm gonna put an end to that bullshit when I get the chance.





Now Ivan can play the catch up game.

There was another zombie here along with an item, but they must have not been important if I didn't screencap them.



Noah's like "hold up m8" but then she says she recognizes him as Noah the Killer. Let me just quote what she says: "You're a twisted, self-centered, arrogant asshole who likes to toy with people's minds and then battle them when their guard is down so you can kill them!"

This has to be the most ironic thing in the entire story.

Then she goes on to say that Hoopa was just trying to defend themselves from Noah and it's like...



Listen. She doesn't even try to talk it out and immediately jumps into trying to murder Noah based on a story that some random Pokemon told her... and considering the grave situation we're in?

I'm not going to feel sad about getting her out of the way.



She might have lived longer if it weren't for this, but hey... screw diplomacy right?

Ellie is not super dangerous, but chances are that you're beat to hell after getting this far.



Her first Pokemon is a Whimsicott that tries to defend itself with Substitute, but Ignell burns them away in a flash.



She tries to use a Potion, but it doesn't really save them from getting incinerated.



Her Musharna on the other hand is far more threatening due to Charge Beam - if we don't stop them, they could potentially raise their Special Attack to the point where nobody can deal with it.



Thank god for the AI making stupid choices.



Ellie's final Pokemon is a Hitmontop that actually survived an Ignell Air Slash, so at this point I'm just hoping they don't land a critical hit or something.



Again, I don't know where'd we be without him. He's like a miracle lizard man.



I don't know what to say, Ellie, you sort of did it to yourself. Plus, if Noah dies, the world's doomed.



[Noah falls to his knees]

"I... I'm killing people..."

Ellie: "You... sick bastard... I hope you rot in hell..."

Oh for fuck's sake.

Noah, my dude, if people throw themselves at you with the intent to kill and they don't want to reason with you, you shouldn't feel bad. Especially if you had a real choice that involved avoiding death.

It's like Saw at this point - the only person you can really count on is yourself (and your Pokemon). Make a small gravestone for her if you really want, but I'd rather get this done.



Oooh, it's a rocket!



"Isolated from the world, prevented from being kids and having fun. Now that we're free, this happens..."

I wish I could care about these kids, truthfully... But I don't. Shame too, because they could be interesting if they were written better.

It doesn't help that they're going to replace Monica and Noah soon... something I am not going to be a part of.



"I think we did something really, really bad. Talk to the kid, you'll see."

At this point I'm used to it. What's the deal, my man?



: "Hey, kid. Are you alright?"

Boy: "Ye-yes... Is my sister okay? She was outside making sure no people can get us."





Oh my god you're kidding. That was fast.

At this point I'm laughing because the pacing for this game is at Sonic Speed. I guess I should be thankful due to the other two games moving painfully slow, but damn.

Zyree turns away when she overhears this and Noah straight up lies to him, saying that Ellie's alright... only for Zyro to burst and yell that she was killed by a zombie.

Hey, better than saying it was us.

Boy: "But... but my sister is strong!"

[He starts to cry]

Prepare yourself for this next one because it is amazingly crafted:

Boy: "She... she beat the bad guys over and over again even after they come back. Bad people tried to take this home from us, but she beat them and then they come back again from a hole that looks like space but this time they blue, and she beat them again!!"

What in good god's name.

Zyro offers to protect the kid and that he should come with us.



"She made a secret passage through the wall behind me."

... Joel? Oh no, you have no idea what you've just done.

You'll see what I mean in a bit.



Hooray, I guess. Honestly he'd be one more mouth to feed, but who cares because I have a full team more or less.



Yeah, you have to walk through the wall to progress. That's cool, I guess. 

Griever Forest? Okay, this must be like the graveyard forest or something. That's my only explanation for why it's called this.



(And wouldn't you know it, the trees are blue instead.)

: "... My sister... Ellie... I miss her."

(Tee hee.)

: "... I know how you feel. I miss my friend, Monica, a lot. We were best friends since we were about your age."

To think... in the good timeline, Monica is alive and all this catastrophe ended at Darugis. But nope, we gotta milk the sequel cow.

Joel starts screaming about how he has to go get something important that his sister left him and Noah tries to be reasonable, but...



This happens. He vanishes in the fade to black and now we have to go look for him.

Joel, you little shit child.



... A potion. Really. *sigh*.

This stopped being useful after we got Super Potions, so why keep giving us the less effective stuff?



These were the wilds in this area - I think Trevenant is cool and Vespiquen is easily one of my favorite Bug Pokemon (even if they're actually pretty poor fighters), but the Pokeball curse won't let us get em.

What a shame.



You can't cut it down anyway, so don't bother... but I do commend DRG's crew for trying different types of events.



... This ought to be fun. 

There was a house around here and... can I just ask why every room looks the same? It's the same empty, two-cabinet room of nothing important.

To be fair I'd rather prefer this over the "broken space" garbage from earlier.



Oh really? Let's see what he's about.



???: "Ahahaha! Look who it is, the failure me. I'm the real Noah, I wouldn't have let my best friend die like that!"

Oh wow, they're doing this.

: "What exactly are you? You may have the clothes I wore in the Core Region, and even half of my face, but you're not me!"



... Oh, so we're just resorting to plagiarizing Persona now? Come on, really? There's doing cute references in the corner and then there's having them as part of the plot.

It's honestly a small thing compared to all of the other bad parts of this series, but at this part I'm worn down.

Joel mentions that his sister left him a pretty stone and that the giant marble behind the Shadow is a Mega Stone, although Noah wonders why she would keep one if he doesn't have any Pokemon.



"Just like you'll never have Monica back!"

Oh it's on now.



... Huh. Alright, I shouldn't be too impressed considering it's just a bunch of Darkrai parts pasted over the sprite they used for Noah in Dark Rising 1, but this is still kind of neat.



Oh, and to top it off, he even has his own evil Mega Charizard! I swear the X version is like my favorite Mega in the series behind Mawile, but I know I won't have either in this game.

He's a beast - a few hits from him is enough to total my team without really trying, so you better hope for the best.

(I didn't insert a Darkmon Ignell because I don't think I could survive dealing with both back to back. Plus, it wouldn't really make sense when you really think about it.)



Like me getting a lucky crit.

(Seriously, good god, look at his health.)



"Into finding a way to save Monica!"

This guy really wants to hit Noah hard with that. It's kind of working considering Monica is the only other character in this series I have any affection towards and that's mostly because I had put so much work into her LP!character. 





Noah wants him to leave, but the Shadow's just like "nah bro I am you". He disappears though, so I guess that's a small victory.



But hey, we actually get a Mega Stone! Joel's okay with letting us have it now that we saved him.



The way Mega Evolution in these types of hacks work is super simplified compared to actual Pokemon... mostly because this version doesn't have a proper mega evolution script programmed in it.



They just give you another evolution and fill that in with the Mega, but I have to admit... as cool as Mega Evolution is, the fact it doesn't stick is kind of a sore spot with me.

Yeah, sure, I know why they don't do that, but damn it - I adore how most megas look. Again, Mega Mawile is like my favorite.



Here's an Antidote for you braving through all that garbage. The spider webs from earlier didn't do much to stop us, now that I think about it.



... Also, have this not-suspicious purple-haired lady.



Long story short, her name is Freyja (I sure made the right choice to pick a Norse Mythology theme in the let's play too because wow) and she's been going around re-killing the zombie trainers.

Noah objects and says the zombie trainers are still people even though we've already slaughtered a bunch and just...

My god, what is wrong with this dude? I can understand not wanting to kill people, but these are literally re-animated corpses. It's your civic duty to cut them down, not only for yourself, but for the living people around you.

: ("... Noah?")

: "Yeah?"

: ("Please don't. I've been around the block too many times to just accept the 'they're still people' excuse.")

: "Honestly? I'm just stressed out and tired at this point. I don't know what to think."

: ("... Ah, I see. Well, hang in there.")



Yeah, even Freyja's like "wtf" dude. Anyway, she volunteers to help us look for the machine and surprisingly enough, she's not evil.

I might as well spoil because we're never going to see her again past this game.

(For the uninitiated, Freyja is the Norse Goddess of love, sex, beauty, gold, war and death. Surely, an... interesting combination of aspects.)



You're questioning this out of everything?



Wait...



Son of a bitch. I thought we killed this guy? So... the zombies respawn? That's not good.



Anyway, we've made it to a cute little farm. This is arguably the best place to rest until we get to The Machine, so...



Next time on Dark Rising: Order Destroyed, we finally get to see Hoopa's face and learn about their true plans. Now please excuse me while I go apply migraine medicine.

See you then.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team setup:

A means Mega-evolved. 

(Ignell-, level 33, , /) - "Hoho! That's a good look on you, Umbra."
(Umbra-, level 24, , ) - "Jeez, no kidding. I wonder how Jack and the guys will react when he sees how fabulous my fake wings are."
(Sapphire, level 24, , /) - "Teehee. You look so fluffy."
(Ivan, level 24, , ) - "Wh-whoa. I can do that too? Man, I really want to evolve now."
(Rodrigo-, level 27, , /) - "All of this is stupid and I don't want any part of it. Well, aside from helping you guys."
(Julian, level 14, , ) - "... Huh."

So, last time on Order Destroyed, we got at least two new allies(?) and now we're just trying to gather ourselves before we move on.



The guys don't say anything too interesting, but we will take Freyja's offer to gather supplies before we leave.



Huh. There's a person that didn't get zombified for once.

(Also, god damn it, I wasn't expecting to break out the Clear Eye again because that's hideous.)



: "Johnny, is that you?! How are you, my boy?!"

Noah is just like "I think he's lost it". Either the zombie apocalypse broke him in the span of a few hours or his senility caught up to him. Whichever works the most. 



We steal some loot and hopefully grandpa doesn't drop dead and become a zombie.



Moomoo Milks are easily the best healing item we'll get due to them healing 100 HP a pop. They're also extremely limited as these will be the only ones we'll be getting, so... yeah don't just chug them down.

Also, hello, I see you there.



Noah introduces himself, but the strange red clothed man says that we've already met his sister? Wait, is he talking about Jalice?

But I thought she said he was dead?



Oh my god, you're not even trying anymore.


Aizen? Are you actually being serious with me now? First the Persona plagiarism from before and now you're going to name him after Bleach's main villain? Not to mention, his dad was the same dude that we fought as the final boss of Dark Rising 1...

Gee, I wonder if he's evil.

Aizen (ugh) claims to have lost his magic and his Pokemon, but he still has the power to read memories... Yeah, don't buy this for a second.



He just... barges his way into our group for reasons that, at this point, should surprise nobody.



Talking to Aizen is required because he enables plot progression. Meanwhile, have a potion and an HP Up that won't really be useful to you. (Money is useless due to there being no shops, so...)



Now, the strangest thing happened while leaving the area. This Mareep is a Nonverbal NPC (you can at least expect them to go "baa") and seems to be out of place.



... But when I go back to check, they just disappear. Were they a ghost all along?



Back to adventure, I suppose. We're way more well stocked than before, so that just leaves me to imagine what we'll encounter here.



What's everyone standing around for? What crazy thing happened?





He's fuckin massive, mate.

What did Hoopa do to make themselves so huge? Come on, this is silly.



"I bet you weren't expecting to see me this early into the story."

Oh lord, it begins. (I will take the time to transcribe this dialogue, I guess.)

: "You're the one behind all of this!"

: "Were you surprised? Let me guess, you were expecting to confront me, I tell you the reason why I'm doing this, Noah will battle me, defeat me, save his friend Monica and then we have a happy ending!"

Yes. Annihilating the fourth wall won't save you.

: "Well... Nope! What's gonna happen is, I tell you what I want to tell you at my own pace and then, when I'm ready... I'll kill all of you. Actually, that is a happy ending. For me."

... I hate to admit it, but this isn't too far off from how I'd actually write Loki's character. :/



: "Let me ask you all something. If you all had the power to make the world precisely the way you want it, would you?"

Interesting question, but this is sort of made moot when you realize that after Order Destroyed ends, he more or less gets pushed aside by Madam Boss from Team Rocket. (An obscure reference, but still...)

So ultimately all of this heartbreak is sort of for nothing.



: "See, exactly! Now, don't think of me as a typical, lunatic bad guy with power. That's not me at all! I'm simply creating order... my order. All of you standing before me do not qualify to be part of the new world. My world."

That's... exactly what you are, though. You're a two dimensional villain that might as well have come from the Bargain Boss Bin (now 50% off on giant monsters!) with only meta humor being the thing that makes you slightly more interesting than say, Darugis from the first two games.

Freyja says she's going to kill him for being a psychotic troll, but Hoopa's just like:

: "Heh, yeah. I am a troll. I've trolled Noah's friend for a long time now! Heheh! Nice one?"

: "... How dare you... I'm ending this right now!"

Yes, Noah, do it. Kick him in the face.



... And he just leaves. Of course.

Oh well, at least we don't have to deal with him until later.



Hey, Freyja's just standing there with... another Mega Stone?



I'll be taking that, thank you.



Freyja wants to part ways because she has other people to help and she wants to give us a Mega Stone for our troubles.

She also mentions that the Machine is up north, but the building that houses it changes based on the person. Now, that definitely can't be ominous.



Eeeh. I don't count on it. 

Bye Freya, you were... literally just some purple haired chick that doesn't matter.



But hey, at least there's a little bit of mercy going around.



Now that's a bad touch.



The evil zombie lass has an Illumise and Volbeat that Ignell chops up into bug soup. I kinda feel bad for these Pokemon, but they need to be put out of their misery.



... What in the world is that?



Well that's just plain bad.



He had a Crustle that (I think) used Shell Smash. That would have definitely put a cap in our ass, but Ignell just dusts them away before they could really do anything.

I don't think I would have been able to deal with that.



Oh wow, the Experience Share got to work! Ivan got to evolve and now he doesn't have that awful Thunder Fang anymore.

Volt Switch does work, but it's the only real electric move he has. We are also not going to use the Mega Stone on him because I'm saving it for later.



When the main villain invites you into his lair, things can only go so well.




So... this building is actually a Creature of Chaos in that it changes based on who sees it. Granny saw it as a mansion while Joel sees a childhood memory of his.

Aizen mentions that he can't read the memory of Pokemon and trying to read the Zygarde twins gives him a blank. HMMMM.



They can't see anything, so... what exactly are we walking into?



It... it's the power plant again. She seems to recycle certain places (the power plant and that one wrecked room) all the time for some reason I can't hope to comprehend.

They're creating brand new maps yet they're still using vanilla ones.



Solarbeam is... passable. What I'm more concerned with is that Rhyperior over there.



But hey, Julian got to evolve! Let's see what he can do against the Rhyperior.



... How about we don't take our chances?



This is so weird. Out of everything you expect the hulking rock monster to do... they throw ice at you. Like



They went down easy even with their tremendous advantage. That's like jumping out of a car at the end of the race and walking to the finish line.



But hey, I'm not complaining because we get Flamethrower.



You know, I'm gonna be honest - in a few minutes, I'll make it rain Rare Candies.



Ignell atomizes a Ferrothorn with his reclaimed Flamethrower. I swear they're one of the most unfortunate Pokemon I've ever met that isn't a member of the Weavile family.



... Oh, I see what we're doing.



Really? Though to be fair, if we knew they were secret agents, they wouldn't be so secret.



They have human skin for some reason despite having dark blue on the overworld. Believe it or not, this is on purpose because Hoopa's going to chastise you for fighting these guys.



They have easy Fletchinder that can't stand up to Ignell's moves, so at least they're not much of a hassle if you do run into them.



I just have to ask: What's with the Rhyperior? You can't catch them and all they really like to do is to spam Avalanche. 



They're time-wasters at best, so... I don't understand. Maybe they're supposed to be training fodder for your Frogadier or something.



Speaking of which:



Oh wow, Loki showed up again. What's happening, my man?

(By the way, everyone's like "this is the final battle!!" even though this is nowhere near the end of the game.)



: "The envy consumes you. You're all just jealous of me."

Zyree: "What?!"

Zyree's reaction is pretty much mine, not gonna lie.

: "Because I am all of you, only the superior being! Order is mine, everything I want, I can make happen. Isn't that the dream of every human? To have the world exactly the way you want it? I have that power now and you are all jealous of me!"

*Deep sigh*

Our main villain, everyone: an annoying kid that got the Gen 3 hacking tools.

: "I'm tired of hearing your mouth already. Where's my friends?! What happened to Arceus?!"

: "Ah, I forgot you don't know the real story. By the way, contradiction much? You say you're tired of hearing my mouth, yet you ask me a question afterwards."

(Okay, I'll admit, that was a good burn.)



I feel bad for Hoopa because it doesn't deserve this. Not this little shit, the real Pokemon. Hell, Hoopa is one of my favorite legendaries from Gen 6 yet DRG turned him into this? What?

Hoopa/Loki says that Noah's friends are scattered across the world (somehow) and that... well, let's have his exact words:

"After finally achieving a plan that took me over a million years, I gotta tell'ya, Arceus doesn't exist anymore. The same applies to Darugis. I am in control of light and darkness, good and bad, I control everything now. I must give credit to your friend Monica, though. But do not fear! I will make a new world, where order is true and there is no good or bad, just perfection."



I have so many questions that I'm afraid I'll fill the page with them.

#1: Really?
#2: Darugis was a bad villain too.
#3: This little shit killed Arceus?
#4: Whatever. At this point, I'm numb.

Noah asks him what he means by all of this, although I don't expect a straight answer at all.



What Noah says is the most appropriate thing ever:

("... I still don't know what the heck is going on...")

Truthfully? I've never known what the hell's been going on in this series, I just document what I see and try not to go insane.

Loki disappears for the second time, so I can at least I can get a moment to think.



Anyway... you see this giant mechanical thing?



It's a giant PC, folks.

Yep, complete with glitch! (Although that's the fault of the glitchy tiles she used and not the Machine itself.) Now, here's the bit where it gets interesting.



The Machine is the only source of infinite healing in the hack, so you better get your top up now before you go on ahead.

I would also recommend against putting any Pokemon in here for reasons you'll see in a bit.



Anyway, this is where I go into full game breaker mode. I have completely stopped caring about being fair and now I'm taking this into my own hands.

One or two Master Balls, over 999+ rare candies... I plan on ripping this game into shreds as part of the final send off. Not only that, I still have a few other surprises in store for you guys.

Just watch.



Aizen says that we've really impressed him with how we've been doing so far and he urges that we should keep some Pokemon in the PC for later.

Noah agrees, but I'm a bit skeptical.



Let's leave Julian here for a bit just so I can demonstrate something.



Leaving the "Pokemon Center HQ" takes us out to this admittedly really nice-looking snow-covered area. (The name of the place is called Apache Mountain, which is like... whatever.)



Another one to add to the pile, but trust me when I say that even they have explanations.



Nah, we're going the full mile. We are reckless to a T.



Aizen: "Yes, Noah? An unexpected turn, hm?"

Oh come on, give your audience at least some credit.

Aizen mentions how he and Hoopa had a "mutual understanding" and that they've been working together.

: "Hey, Noah! Did you put any of your Pokemon inside the Machine?! It was all fake! Another part of my game... How long did it take you to realize you can't ever get back to The Machine? I created the place with my power! It is my world, you know?"

Yeah, the door behind us was locked. Goodbye Julian, you were a wonderful guinea pig.



"I should've never listened to you, Aizen!"

: "Well, your Scyther's dead now."

This causes Noah to go Super Saiyan out of rage.

: "... AIZEN!!! You'll pay for this with your own life. Let's battle!"



You're lookin... pretty good there.



His first Pokemon is a Conkeldurr that uses Mach Punch on a Flying type. And the Darwin Award goes to...



Yep. He's nowhere near as threatening as the Bleach Aizen, although that'd be a completely different story if it were him.

He also had a Drapion, but nobody cares.



Oh wow, that's actually a really good sprite for Clawitzer... Now, would you believe me that it's the most dangerous thing on his whole team?

Mega Launcher is an actual ability in this game and Clawitzer would hurt even without it, so... damn.



See this? This takes Ignell to half health even without it being super-effective. That's crazy.



Thankfully, Clawitzer has the speed of a shrimp holding a giant gun otherwise this would have been impossible.



His final Pokemon is a Mega Blaziken that... yeah, I don't think this match-up will ever end well for Blaziken even in the real games.

There's only so much Speed Boost can do against another Fire type.



Aizen: "Or am I?"

I hate it when villains pull out the "lol didn't count" card.



"NOT!"

Aizen: "Hoopa decides who lives and who doesn't. It is his world, after all."

Logically. Give me a few more chapters though and you'll regret saying that.

: "Noah, your friend defeated Darugis for me, I just guided Monica along the way with my bag of tricks! I bet you're wondering, where is the REAL Arceus? After a plan that took me millions of years to complete, I manage to trick the real Arceus and send him into oblivion! Then, it was only Darugis left."



(You can't hear it but I'm howling at my own reactions. I'm silly, alright.)

Hoopa goes on to say that Light and Monica had the most potential but he's still going to boil it down to "it was a game for me".

Then he goes "see ya" one more time and I want to strangle him.



You'd think that'd be the end of him, but...



He's in this house! This is like what, the fourth time we've seen him in one chapter?



Noah's mad about Aizen for "betraying" him even though it was the most telegraphed thing behind Granny being a cannibal.

: "Don't I at least get a clap for that genius set-up? It was perfect! Besides, I'm a generous troll. Didn't you grab any of the rare candies I placed around the areas? It can revive your Pokemon from the dead. Yeah, I know, it breaks the whole "If Pokemon faint, they die forever" thing I got going on. But hey, like I said, I'm a generous troll."

So... you knew this entire time that Rare Candies can act as revives? 



I do have to admit if you aren't genre savvy, Hoopa might get you off guard. The Machine deal and how you can't go back could be a giant one-fingered salute to the player, but I still have a way around it.



: "... You don't care about anyone or anything but yourself. I will be the one to end your reign of terror, Hoopa. I can assure you of that."

Hell yeah.

Hoopa says that everything was fake and nobody was really a chosen one after all, which I guess is right if Arceus was really gone, but... eh.

He goes onto say that all of humanity are hypocrites because we praise Arceus when good things happen yet blame Darugis when bad things happen. I honestly don't see what the point is.

Noah wants to battle him, but for the fourth time in a row:



This is the most I've ever seen a villain run away from the main hero, especially if they're the core villain.



: "God, everything's hopeless. What am I going to do now?"



: "I suppose the only thing we can do is try to stop him, but..."

[A large shadow looms over Noah]



: "... Huh? What's that?!"

[Noah gazes into the sky and sees a giant red and black bird with a white Lucario riding on top. They descend to the ground]



[Hidden By Night]

: "Wh-whoa! Yveltal?! And you... aren't you one of Monica's Pokemon?"

: ("It really is you, Noah! Thank goodness we finally found you. It's me, Signe.")

: "Wow, you guys actually managed to make it out of the Omni Region? ... Where's everyone else?"

: ("We're not sure, but that doesn't matter now. You're our last hope - we need to band together and stop Loki before he ruins the world!")

: "Of course!"

: ("I brought some provisions before things got really bad and the Jewel of Life. Something tells me we'll be needing everything we have, so... make good use of them.")

: "The Jewel of Life?! But... what good will that d--."

: ("Noah.")

: "Y-yes, Yveltal?"

: ("Hmph. It's time you learned my real name. I am... Ragnarok. What that bastard child's doing is unacceptable - they're perverting the cycle of life and death. With that said, I want you to lead me again.")

(Ragnarok is the name of the great war that claims multiple gods in Norse Mythology, including Odin. I felt it would be appropriate for the death god of Pokemon to have that name.)

: "Wow... Yes, sir!"



Normally, trying to catch a Pokemon would lead to the game freezing because DRG did... something to the Pokedex. However, since I'm smarter than the average bear, I put in a "complete Pokedex" code to bypass the Pokedex entirely and fix that little bug.

So yeah, suck on that, Hoopa.



: "Why are we at the door? It's locked."

: ("... As I suspected, the little shit couldn't even be bothered to actually destroy anything.")

: "What?"

: ("Go through the door - you'll see what I mean.")

[Noah phases through the door]



: "Oh wow! We're back at the Machine? But I thought he said it was all fake?"

(Aka. I used walk through walls and DRG didn't remove the access point. Smooth.)

: ("Listen, Noah. I know Loki. He's a very bad liar. Sometimes he leaves his work half-finished, so stuff like this happens. We now have unlimited access to the PC and there's nothing he can do about it.")

: "Hahaha, oh my god. This is gonna be cathartic."





Oooooh, this is too good.

Signe is a series regular as far back as the Dark Rising 1 LP. Since Sigurd's dead, she's the best we have and honestly, having at least one of the Lucario Siblings is good enough for me. She has access to Aura Saber, Psychic and Void Bomb... so that's badass.

Ragnarok, on the other hand, is a Yveltal that Noah picked up in Dark Rising 2 but we would have never got to see him perform if I didn't hack him in. Since Dark Aura isn't a thing in this, he has Gale Wings instead... making him arguably even more overpowered than if he just had the other one.

Both of them are over level 50 (the highest normal Pokemon we'll see in this is around 40-ish) and hot damn I am proud to say that this game is almost completely brown bread.



Back to the guys, Joel is suffering. I would too if I didn't have clothes for the snow.



You have a dead Liepard here that's obviously a reference to the scene from Star Wars, but Noah can't bear skinning a cat.

If things were that dire, I wouldn't really hesitate.



I'm more than prepared, alright?



Noah says he needs a minute or two to rest before we move on and honestly, I can't really blame him after what just happened.

Zyro mentions how he's ready to beat Hoopa and reclaim his fate so him and his sister can finally be free, but he warns that a horde of zombies is coming towards us and that we gotta split.



Can't argue with that. But before we go...



Ragnarok has Oblivion Wing. Gale Wings gives it priority too, so... 





Next time on Dark Rising: Order Destroyed, we start our death march through Hoopa's forces. See you then.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team setup:

A means Mega-evolved. 

(Ignell-, level 39, , /) - "Signe, my girl, I'm glad to see you alive! Let's show them why you don't mess with us, yes?"
(Signe, level 52, , /) - "My thoughts exactly. But more importantly... Loki, I'm coming for you."
(Ragnarok, level 50, , /) - "... Hello friends. Forgive me, I haven't had to properly introduce myself to a group of people in a long time. Mani's spoiled me that way."
(Umbra-, level 25, , ) - "Impressive. With your help, we can finally shut that brat up for good."
(Sapphire, level 24, , /) - "A-aah. Hello, sir Ragnarok. How's Miss Mani...?"
(Ivan, level 24, , ) - "He-hey, we got some new guys on the team! Welcome aboard, fellows."
(Rodrigo-, level 27, , /) - "Whoa! S-she's gorgeous..."
(Julian, level 29, , ) - "Whooo... I was having a heart attack back there. Don't do that!"

[White Forest]

I absolutely love this song and I feel it's appropriate for what we're about to face.

So last time on Order Destroyed, Hoopa showed up and talked smack to us multiple times about how everything we're doing is wrong and that we're ultimately a dupe for his plans.

Yeah, how about no?



We grab another Ether and... some other item I don't remember. 



I am consistently surprised at how silly looking a lot of the sprites are. They're more like giant smurfs than zombies if I have to be honest.



Ragnarok is amazing. I'm so glad I hacked him and Signe in to the game for one final laugh.




There were Sawsbuck here and I do like how they're in their Winter coat for this area... but the more impressive thing is that due to the shenanigans I did last chapter, I'm fully capable of catching Pokemon again.

Can someone please explain to me the giant coding incompetence DRG and her crew did that made the Pokedex not work?



... Why is there a blonde-haired Frontier Brain Tucker here?



Huh. That's all he says and he just... disappears.

Now would you believe me that this is another brand new villain under Hoopa's contract? (Yes, because the guy named Aizen wasn't enough.)



I don't get it. Why does Hoopa keep leaving these around if he explained that they're just to give you a false sense of security? 

He already popped up over four times just to taunt us in the last chapter, so...



God damn it Velma, how did you get into Dark Rising? 

Don't tell me the Mystery Inc. crew is somewhere around here to reveal that Hoopa was really an old guy in a costume.



"I feel a very strong radiance coming from you. You will be the one I help before I die."

: "Huh?"

The best reaction I could hope for, to be honest.

Long story short, this lady's name is Theresa and she has holy powers to counteract Hoopa's. All this means is that when her and Noah fight, she won't die.



It won't last long, so she encourages Noah to fight with all he's got. Honestly, if Hoopa was really the super god he thinks he is, then a teeny barrier like this shouldn't even slow him down.

Hence why I think this entire plot is stupid.



Grumpig might have been a problem if we didn't have a death god bird on our side... but to be fair, Ignell's pretty damn close.



Alright, Karate Grandma. I wonder what she's going to tell us that we don't already know.



: "... I guess."

Not much she really can do to help us other than to get Velma out the way, so hit me.



Joel's going to die. Nice knowing you, kid.

Meanwhile, Theresa can't read the Zygarde twins' futures for some reason... something about how their aura is too hard to read. 

Then she gets to Noah and says that his future's bleak if he doesn't come to terms with himself... which I guess is why the Shadow exists. You know what we're gonna do.

He doesn't believe it and he takes Joel out of the house. Truthfully, with how Hoopa's been like so far, I don't think the predictions will mean that much.



But hey, have a tiling error and Velma again.

She actually does have her glasses on, so that's cute at least.



Oh hey, it's a Carbink. What's happening, little guy?



: ("Stop looking at me!")

: "What?! It spoke?!"

Just like how your Pokemon can talk to you, idiot?

: ("This human can hear my thoughts?! Oh, my! I FOUND HIM!")

Noah has an emo moment about how much destruction he's caused, but honestly he's done more help than harm so far.



"The Princess has been waiting for you!"

Keep in mind, I didn't play this far when I included Sapphire... so I guess me and DRG both watched the Diancie movie. (Son of a bitch, I just realized we have Yveltal here too.)

The Princess has been looking for a pure-hearted trainer to help fight against Hoopa, but... ugh. In another game I would be down to getting Diancie on our team, but this is Dark Rising - you know how this is going to end.



Welp, there's the princess. That overworld is actually pretty decent, not gonna lie.

The Carbink next to her just say that they've been waiting for the chosen one and Noah's it. I thought we got rid of the "chosen one" stuff a while ago, but alright I guess.



Now, here's the interesting thing - you can show her the Carbink you got from the dying lady back in Chapter 1 and Diancie will be so moved that she will join your team.

Only problem, though?



It's a trade. I like Sapphire - why do we have to give her away?

... Also, Diantha? I didn't know the Kalos Champion was here.



She's still on the overworld, but hey... we have a Diancie now! 

However, I'm still not satisfied.



[Shieldner Sheldon Stage]

Of course I'm going to go catch her and nickname her for real. I'm a freak for that, you know?

: ("Princess! Oh thank goodness, you're safe!")

: ("Oh! You brought Sapphire back to me! Thank you!")

: "Glad I could help, miss... uh..."

: ("Call me Princess Carmille. You're Noah, yes? Miss Mani informed me that you're an up-and-coming hero... I was expecting someone a bit taller, but I can tell you're a strong-willed young man. Especially if you get sir Ragnarok to follow your orders!")

: "Oh come on, don't make me blush."

: ("I can see us getting along just fine. Now come on - let's stop that tyrant Hoopa!")



Gotta admit, the sprite for Diancie in this isn't half bad.

However, remember the Mega Stone we got earlier?







... O-oh. That looks... good.

But hey, we still have a Mega Diancie on our side!

: ("This might be a bit unlady-like for me to say, but... it's time to mow those suckers down!")



There's Pyroar's sprite and it's not too bad either... even if they're absolute fodder trash against Ignell.



We also get Shadow Claw! (not that it'll be useful or anything)



The strange thing about Mega Diancie's sprite in this is that it's the same in both the front and the back... so it looks even derpier than it already is.

Also, poor Weavile never catches a break.



There were some fodder items around here to grab, but the thing that catches my attention the most is that Youngster sprite, holy crap.



We also catch a Froslass because you can't just dangle one in front of me and expect me not to grab them.



They were totally not meant to be grabbed due to the Pokedex limitation, but I make my own rules.

: ("... Oh. Hello. I guess I'm traveling with a group now.")



To be honest? He's not wrong. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 


Focus Bands are utterly useless. They're an item that keeps you alive at 1 HP... but it only activates 10% of the time. That's cute in an online match if you're lucky enough to troll your opponent, but I'd rather not take my chances.



"And I don't feel too good..."

Well, we did all go into a snow-capped mountain without winter clothes, so I guess that's the most realistic thing in this series so far.

Also, hello Sludge.



Sludge says that Hoopa's getting stronger and that he's going to remake the world the way he wants. He also promised Sludge his own kingdom and suddenly I'm getting Wario Land 1 vibes.



Sludge mentions that the music is making Joel feel worse and Noah gets outraged.

: "Don't you have any compassion at all?! What if you had a kid?!"

Sludge: "I had a lil' boy once... Around his age, actually... I did my best for him... I loved him to death... ugh!"

Oh wow, are we finally getting a villain that isn't a flat cardboard stereotype?

Sludge gets over it and fights Noah one last time:



You can already tell how this is going to end for him.



Signe blows up his Toxicroak at least.



Ooooh damn, that's actually a really good sprite.

Normally this would be super harrowing because Mega Gengar is a monster to fight no matter the circumstances, not helped by them being level 41!



However, Signe putzes him out with only one Void Bomb. What a shame.

If you're wondering why she has Oblivion Wing despite that being Yveltal's thing, their inclusion was sort of a rush job for me... so they wound up having more or less the same moveset.

Of course, Ragnarok can't use Aura Saber... but that'd be a hell of a sight.



He established a better team in the time we last met him, but it doesn't really matter against Ignell's flames.



Ivan gets to show off his skills now that he's evolved, and...



It only does that much. I'm actually kind of disappointed, but... this is Tentacruel he's dealing with. Those guys are sponges for magic attacks.



This is what happens when you give a draining move priority - you break the game, plain and simple.

And it glorious. 





Too bad for you, friend. I was just starting to like you.



Sludge has the typical villain response of "I'm the king! My humanity held me back" even though we're just plain better.

Hoopa intervenes as a disembodied voice and says that he was watching us all along. He says Sludge isn't fit for the new world because "he can't succumb to his true emotions" or some garbage, and then...

Well, let's just say it's... interesting:

: ("Face it, you're becoming a stone cold killer. Example; Remember in the Pokemon Center HQ, you battled 3 agents. For a brief moment, before the battle began, I turned their faces back to human just to see if you'd hold back or not. You didn't. You defeated them as if they were nothing but zombies in your way!")



Of course, you fucking idiot. They are zombies, right?

Besides, really? You're going to pull the "you're a ruthless killer" card on me despite everything you did? There's also the fact you're the person that made it like this in the first place. (You are the one who sucks people into black holes.)

Plus, out of every kill you could have held Noah against, you're not going to bring up the actual human girl that is also Joel's sister? If you're going to hit below the belt, at least pick the right spot.



Joel runs off and Sludge dies, I suppose. Oh no, you can already see where this is going.



Smile all you want, you big dummy, Carmille's still going to bury you and your Rufflet.



Damn, she actually put anti sequence breaking features in.



Now this? This is stranger danger, my friends.

That's the gist of this scene, so let's move on.



Zombified kids and a bunch of dead hikers... I swear to god if this cave is what I think it is.



The Macho Brace doubles effort values gained but lowers speed while it's equipped. Truthfully this is pretty useless, especially when you realize the game's almost over.

... Yes, really.



We get another Mega Stone without having to fight anyone, surprisingly.

Why am I saying that even though there's a crowd of zombies ready to rip our face off?



See, Dark Rising Girl either forgot or just plain didn't want to make them attack you. Yeah, the only way they're going to engage you in a battle is if you let them, because their line of sight just plain doesn't work.

The strangest thing about it too is that Noah's acting like they're swarming him when... they're not.  



I can't believe baby Joel is dead. 

Oh well. 



So... the man in yellow is the Pied Piper and he turned Joel into a zombie. However, before they killed him, they told him that Noah murdered Ellie and that he's furious even in death.



In-Game Noah's like "HOW DID YOU DO THIS?!" while LP!Noah saw it coming a mile away.



If I cared about Joel, this would be kind of heartwrenching, but as it stands...



Let's put him out of his misery.



He's an Ice type specialist! That's neat.



He also has his own Rotom-Frost that... gets smashed by Carmille after she realized there's no Pokepuffs inside.

Hex is a Ghost type move that deals extra damage if the opponent has a status effect, but it's pretty bad to use considering Rotom in the appliances isn't even part Ghost-type anymore.



Oh sweet jesus. Now this, my friends, could be a real nightmare.

Mega Glalie is pretty diesel on its own, but when you give them Moody (an ability that randomly increases or decreases certain stats per turn, including evasion)... hoo boy.



Thankfully Ignell has none of it and burns him out before he can become a real problem.

I'd love to know the original artist who made these Mega sprites because they are nice.



Noah is sorry for killing Joel, but truthfully? He was kinda doomed from the beginning.



Aizen tells Noah to be silent and that he's a fool, although coming from him that's a laugh.

The Zygarde twins finally get pissed enough and call Hoopa out... then this happens.



Huh.


They managed to "restore order" and revive Joel (somehow) with bullshit Zygarde magic! Finally, a break from the doom and gloom at least.

Brace yourself for this next one:



"HOW DARE YOU LITTLE BRATS CHANGE MY WORLD!"

Suck it.

Aizen's amazed that Hoopa got angry and honestly, this has to be the most satisfying moment in the series that isn't from my own doing. He finally gets a small piece of the humble pie.

Also, Hoopa mentions that Zygarde has always been there to stop him from having "fun" (with a million quotation marks) and this is where they drop that, yes, Zyro and Zyree really are Zygarde's kids.

You know, I was at least kind of hoping I was wrong and that wasn't that case, but nope - some lady screwed an earth dragon god and had babies with them. 

You know, out of everything this story was missing, we totally needed bestiality.



Hoopa finally loses his cool and pledges to kill us all, but I doubt that.



... Wait, hold up. Is that who I think it is?



You're kidding.


Out of everyone you include, you bring in Zinnia? But... but why? What could she possibly do in the storyline at this point?



Welp, we just beat up Aster. Poor little baby didn't deserve it.



Carmille did learn Power Gem though, so it's not all bad.



... Huh. Her Salamence isn't Mega evolved for some reason. Maybe they couldn't fit the sprite in or something.



She ain't afraid of no dragons.



Noah immediately assumes she's working with Hoopa because the fight didn't kill her, but Zinnia tells him that she wants to restore order too and that the Zygarde twins are the key.

I guess that makes sense.



Also: hello, not-Navel Rock. This is what, like the third time we've been here?



They retcon that Zinnia is the guardian of the Omni Megastone and how there was only one Mega stone ever before Darugis shattered it, which you know is wrong if DRG went out of her way to include Zinnia of all people.



Yes, dummy. This is the aftermath of 2's (bad) ending, you know.

Zinnia mentions that Darugis never guessed that Hoopa would be behind it all, but then it gets... weird. Hoopa somehow created a fake Arceus to fool him even though that still makes zero sense and doesn't really stop what happens at the end of 2 from being an insane ass-pull cop out.

Killing both Darugis and Arceus allows Hoopa to control the universe and it's just... my brain hurts because of how nonsensical this all is. It really does seem like a genuine effort was being made but they didn't know what to do with it, so they just kept going.

It kinda drives me insane.

To make things less complicated on myself, LP!Hoopa or Loki as I like to call him, is doing this because he wanted to infiltrate the heroes from the inside. Sure, it involved sealing Darugis/Alberich away, but he's more than happy to continue his reign of terror.

None of this "I am the true god!!" horsedookey - he's doing it out of a twisted sense of affection for his master, because I should mention that both Alberich and Loki used to be nice people before all of this happened.



I feel so bad for Monica and Noah - they're stuck in an awful situation that doesn't seem to ever end... and since I'm controlling them, I get to see it all first-hand.




But hey, at least Aster is here to give us a top up before we do anything crazy. 

Every little bit helps.



Oh jeez. Next time on Dark Rising: Order Destroyed, we finally cap off the end of this series! See you then.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team setup:

A means Mega-evolved. 

(Ignell-, level 44, , /) - "We've made it this far, may as well finish it."
(Signe, level 52, , /) - "... I miss Sigurd. All of my family, really..."
(Ragnarok, level 50, , /) - "I can finally put an end to all of this madness with your help, Noah. We just have to be brave."
(Carmille-, level 32, , /) - "I just wish we could have met in happier times... maybe we could have had a costume party."
(Umbra-, level 25, , ) - "That does sound nice, but there's still the matter of living through this..."
(Sapphire, level 24, , /) - "I'll protect you no matter what, Princess!"
(Ivan, level 27, , ) - "Things are getting real serious now - we better step up our game!"
(Rodrigo-, level 29, , /) - "No kidding. Alright, I know this is unrelated, but I used to have a Glaceon friend and Signe reminds me of her a lot..."
(Julian, level 29, , ) - "I just wish I could have done more to help. Everyone else pulled their weight."
(Reika, level 36, , /) - "... What an interesting bunch of people you are."

The final fight before Hoopa is our own shadow... not gonna lie, that's pretty neat.



"When will you accept that I am the real you?"



Noah denies it and rejects the Shadow, but literally everyone but him realizes that, hey, maybe that's not the right way to do it.



He still only has one Pokemon and I have to admit... the Shadow came out of nowhere, but it's surprisingly one of the most interesting things in this game.

Sure, it's almost directly lifted from the Persona series, but it shows a side of his personality that I would have had to fill in otherwise.



The two Ignells go at it, but I gotta be honest - this is easily the toughest opponent you'll face. Granted, thanks to Zinnia's Whismur, you can finally grind to your heart's content due to not needing to worry about resources anymore... but you know how I feel about grinding.



His Fire Blast is ridiculous - it does over half my health despite being half effective. I'd wager to say that this would outright kill anybody else that doesn't resist it.

Normally I'd get mad because this kind of challenge is usually accompanied by a ton of other crap, but when it's only one? Eh, it's fine.



Thank god for this crit too, because I'm positive it would have been far less cool if Signe or Ragnarok did it instead. 

It's a test to conquer yourself, after all.



Shadow: "Hm? You admit it?!"

: "Yes. You're right. You are me. You're the other half of me. I wanted to destroy the world, I wanted to create it all over again... Just like Hoopa. But Monica, my best friend, showed me that was the wrong path. Everything you said was the truth. I accept you, Noah."

Well hot damn - an actual character building moment.

The "wanting to create the world again" thing was still stupid, but at least Monica helped him get past that edgy phase of his life.



Everyone smiles and we move on to the next bit.



[The Forlorn Sanctum]

One last intermission before we take on the final boss...

By the way, I should mention that we can't go back - there's no access points back and these maps aren't connected to anything, so we're doing this for real.



Joel forgives us for killing his sister because he knows that Hoopa was behind it all. Truthfully your sister needed to practice self-control, but I'll take what I can get.

His revival was the most interesting thing about him because he totally seemed like a fodder character that was just there to make Noah feel sad for the umpteenth time.



Zyro says that Noah's a cool guy and that he's determined to make Hoopa pay for everything he's done.

He was kind of annoying at first but I can see something cool in him, I just don't have the patience to see it.



He also asks Noah if his catchphrase was cool or not. What a dork.



Zyree laments that the power they used to resurrect Joel was the same that kept them isolated from the world, but Noah reaffirms that it's a gift and that they hold the key to defeating Hoopa.

She feels like she'll become a test subject again, but then this bit happens:



Awwwwww.

I liked Zyree more by default, but I still can't believe that they're both the hybrid spawn of Zygarde. I just... what a strange way to go about it.



Wow, that's a lot of purple. Anyway, this is it - let's make things right.



"You all ruined my game and now you will all pay for it with your lives. You pitiful offsprings of Zygarde, you're nothing! You hold no importance in my new world. In fact, you were never important to begin with! You're just cursed children!"

You sure you're not talking about yourself there?



: "No they're not. They're normal human beings, just like I am. Actually, they're more important than I am. Zyro and Zyree are special because they have the power to end this!"

Joel wants to help too. c:

This next bit is hilarious.

: "DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS SAVE THE WORLD CRAP WILL GIVE YOU HOPE?! I CONTROL EVERYTHING!"

Hahaha. Oh boy, you're in for a treat.

Noah says some crap about how he knows he can't defeat Hoopa and that he was "chosen" to help Zyro and Zyree get away.



The Pied Piper will do the honors of killing Noah, but I'm just... who is this guy? Why is he a thing and where did Aizen go? Whatever.



He tells the kids to scram and that he's trusting Zyro with the fate of the world. A noble sentiment, but...



("You face a challenge you cannot win. You must battle Hoopa long enough for the children to get away. You must accept defeat.")

What, so we built up his character just to get him unceremoniously killed off by the main villain not even 10 minutes afterward?

No, come on.



[Metamorphosis]

Brace yourselves for this one, guys.



He's level 100.

Not only that, he has 200 in every stat and has Wonder Guard to boot. 



Yep, that sounds about right.



: ("So much for your death god, hehe.")



Ignell actually got a hit off on him!



... Not that it means much.



: ("No... Not here...!")

: ("Sorry, sis. It's what Alberich would have wanted.")



I hate hopeless boss fights, especially when they're supposed to be the final boss. :/



[Game Over]

"They are the future... Monica, I'll be with you soon, pal..."

Oh come on, Noah. Don't say that.



By the way, this message will play if all your Pokemon faint anywhere, not just here. It'd be weird to see this before Noah even gets to know the Zygarde twins, but whatever.

The Pokemon gym theme is also what plays here, by the way. Yes, your character just died so have one of the most encouraging songs in the game.



"And from beneath where man dare not tread. It gazed upon the world. Lurking, breathing, watching. No man shall see the light of day... Order must be restored."

Damn, that's a level of pretension that I'm surprised didn't come out of this series before now. That's pseudo Shakespeare at its finest.

But... I guess that's where it ends.



...



......



I REFUSE

[Noah is blinded by a bright light]



: "Wh... what's happening?"

[Noah sees the faint outline of a familiar person in the distance]

[Celes's Theme]

: ("What are you doing, Noah? I thought you were stronger than that.")

: "M-Monica?! Is that really you?!"

: ("The one and only. Get up, Noah - your job's not done yet.")

: "But... aren't I dead? Loki was too strong..."

: ("Not quite. The Jewel of Life saved you. I finally understand why it was so important... it's Arceus. Their essence is sealed inside the Jewel itself... and they just used their strength to give you another chance.")

: "Really?! That's unbelievable. But what about you?"

: ("I'm... actually due to come back thanks to miss Mani and Ragnarok's help. They found a way to bring me back to life without any dire consequences... not as a zombie or an immortal, but as a human again. That's why I want you to stand up and kick the little bastard's face in for me.")

: "... Hell yeah!"

[The Jewel of Life appears in Noah's hands, followed by a vision of the Zygarde Twins's green eyes]

[Chrono Trigger Main Theme]







We are ready.



: ("What?! How did you get back up? I thought that finished you.")

: ("Oh well, I guess I just had to double tap.")



[Ragnarok shrugs it off]

: ("Are you done?")

: ("... O-oh. Oh no.")



: ("Damn it! Where did all of this power come from?")



Hoopa shrugs it off by saying "haha lol didn't count cuz i make the rulez" which I sort of what I expected... but hey, at least Dark Rising Girl actually put something in instead of leaving it to crash or something.



"We will continue until you die!"

Noah more or less repeats that he's leaving destiny in the hands of the Zygarde twins and Joel, but there is something else -



("You've completed Order Destroyed's True Ending. Download and play Dark Rising 3 to experience the final installment in the Dark Rising series. Thank you for playing!")

Technically? I'm going to blow all your minds with this, but... Order Destroyed is Dark Rising 3. 



Not really, but it's the third game in the series whereas the actual 3 would be the fourth game. Really, I'm just coming up with reasons to not continue and just leave it here.
 
Despite Hoopa being like "we'll fight until you die!!", talking to him again will just repeat the ending message. So how about we end this off in style?

: ("I won't... I won't let you off so lightly! Noah, allow me to show you why Alberich chose me to rule in his stead!")

[Five Pokemon with Darkrai features manifest out of a pool of black liquid]

: "Whoa... what are these things?!"

[Mabinogi Final Boss Theme]

: ("Hatred made flesh.")



The final battle alarm!

So yeah, Loki makes a comeback with five Darkmons now that Noah and the guys have gotten a super boost.



Evil Ignell comes with all the nasty stuff - Sucker Punch, Dark Pulse, Flamethrower, you name it. It doesn't help that it's even stronger than the Mega that the Shadow had, so good god.



He just barely takes the damn thing down and triumphs over his real inner demons.



110 / 140 / 90 / 150 / 140 / 110 (740 Total - /)

I had to give everyone in this team an opponent to fight, so Ivan gets an Evil Kyogre to deal with! This was one of the Darkmons I had neglected to put into Dark Rising 2, so at least I get to show it off here.

By the way, you're probably wondering why I didn't give Evil Kyogre Drizzle despite that being their thing.

... Well... I don't know what Dark Rising Girl or her crew did, but weather effects freeze the game. No, seriously. 

This is the real reason Mega Charizard Y has Tough Claws instead - having Drought like normal would softlock the game. What happened?



Ivan shocks the thing into submission despite it being stronger than him. That's my boy.



: ("Wait... this thing looks familiar.")

: ("No! Th-Thetis?! Wh...")

: ("What did they do to you...?")

Evil Glaceon here is another canned mon. She is / type with the following stats:

100 / 150 / 50 / 150 / 96 / 120 (666 Total)



She hits pretty hard, but Rodrigo can take it.

[Rodrigo used Close Combat!]





[The Darkrai parts melt off of her body. She falls to the ground unconscious]

There wasn't a lot I could do to tie this one to Rodrigo personally due to the short amount of time, but at least they have something.



: ("No... Loki, you didn't...")

: ("Sis, help...")

: ("Don't worry. I'll get you out of this.")



That's not a fake Siegfried, by the way. 

Sometime during/after the bad ending of 2, Loki turned him into a Darkmon. When you realize they're brothers in every way with the exception of blood ties, that uh... yeah, jeez.



He also seriously cripples Signe with a Thunderbolt, but Synchronize comes to the rescue.

[Signe used Aura Saber!]





[Siegfried falls on his back with the Darkrai parts melting into the ground]

: ("Siegfried!!")

: ("S...sis. Is that really you...?")

[She holds him in her arms]

: ("Yes, it's me. Are you alright?!")

: ("I... I think so! You can't believe how scared I was. I thought I'd never get to see you again...")

: ("There, it's fine now. I just... ugh!")

: ("Don't move, sis! We're in real bad shape...")



: ("... Hello, miss Selene. How long has it been?")



The final Darkmon is Selene herself and she's built to last. She has Wish on top of having ridiculous durability (120/130 with 120 health) and I (think) I gave her Toxic.

Carmille is the best choice for her because of Magic Bounce and Calm Mind. Just... look at this.







[Selene's body returns to normal as she slumps to the ground]

: ("Oh dear - I hope that didn't kill her.")



: ("Alright, so you managed to stop the puppets...")

: ("But you still have ME to deal with!")

: ("Oh really?")

[Ragnarok flares with a dark aura]

I figured it'd be more appropriate to use Falgaia's Hoopa sprite for Loki instead of the other one. 





(Yes, he can use Void Bomb. It's a link attack with Signe.)



: ("N-No... what happened to my Unbound form? Did the Jewel of Life seal it?")

: ("It's over, Loki. This is the ultimate price for every crime you and Alberich have committed.")



: ("We had everything planned out perfectly and yet... you, of all people, still found a way to shut us down.")

: ("I'm... actually impressed, haha. And here we thought you were second rate, Noah.")

[Reform]

: ("... Goodbye, Loki.")

: ("Signe... I couldn't ask for a better sister than you.")

: ("Too good for me, even... heh. Maybe everything could have been better if we just kept ourselves under control...")

[His body fades into dust]

: ("Noah... I have no idea how to properly thank you! You really are a hero.")

: "Hey, yeah... We did it! We saved the world! We changed fate!"

: "Come on, guys, let's get out of here!"



And so, that ends Dark Rising: Order Destroyed. Sure, this isn't the game-canon ending, but screw that.

The short length would normally be a positive, but there's so many things Dark Rising Girl wants to do in this short time span that it all turns into a giant mess. What's the point of building up Noah's character with the Shadow if he's just going to get killed by Hoopa?

Not only that, isn't the "survival" aspect of the game made entirely moot if everything you've been working towards is just an early grave at Hoopa's hands? It's so backwards.

The game was more balanced and had a tighter level curve this time around, but it still had some sadistic enemy choices and all of the technical problems behind the scenes made it even worse.

Listen, I find it admirable she was able to work around them to an extent, but at the same time she could have just... taken the time to fix them.

[A few days later]



[Epilogue - To Good Friends]

: "Thank you for taking us in, Princess, but it's time to go."

: ("My pleasure, Noah. It's the least I can do for your valiant efforts.")

: "You sure you don't want to stay here? These are your people, after all."

: ("I'll admit I'm slightly conflicted... but if there's anybody I want to see the world with, it's with you. Sapphire can fill in for me while we're gone.")

: "Ah, I see..."



: "Hey."



: "I've missed you, buddy."

: "... Glad to have you back."

[The two of them embrace each other in a tight hug]



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Final setup:

A means Mega-evolved. 

(Ignell, level 100, , /) - "Our future looks bright! I'm glad to see you back, Monica!"
(Signe, level 100, , /) - "I hope Sigurd can rest in peace, wherever he is..."
(Siegfried, level 100, , /) - "I know he'd be proud of us, sis!"
(Selene, level 100, , ) - "It'll take quite a bit to rebuild our family... But I'm content as long as I have you."
(Ragnarok, level 100, , /) - "It's the end of an era, I see... I'm glad I could help fix it."
(Carmille, level 100, , /) - "Oooh, I'm so excited to meet all of your friends! Let's have a celebration!"
(Umbra-, level 94, , ) - "I can now say with absolute certainty that I've survived two zombie apocalypses... Jack will flip when we get back."
(Sapphire, level 24, , /) - "Goodbye, Princess! Please, take care of yourselves!"
(Ivan, level 83, , ) - "We did it, boys."
(Rodrigo, level 91, , /) - "I'm so glad everyone is safe at least... I just hope Thetis checks out of the Pokemon Center soon, though."
(Julian, level 70, , /) - "Your chances of getting Signe's attention are still low, my friend."
(Reika, level 56, , /) - "I was going to ask what's happening, but alright. This is fine."